First time journaling. Publicly anyway. Reading through these posts, obviously everyone is crazy. Sigh - ok we will see how it goes. I guess I like the thought of potential feedback. Obviously my normal journal has no opinion.
I guess some kind of intro would be good.
I’m female.
I turn 50 soon.
I’m married to the HS sweetheart.
1 adult child.
Same job for eternity.
perimenopausal & trying to lose weight. I’m fairly active & try to workout. I’m not huge, but I’m not where I want to be either. Try to tell myself that the scale doesn’t matter as long as I’m active and I love that I’m able to get back at being physically active again. I had surgery this year & complications, so exercise has been off limits for months now, it feels good to be back at it though.
Feeling blah.
Something is off.
I’ve been feeling like this for awhile, like years.
Had my first major medical crisis this year. Still recovering physically & mentally.
I thought I would be more conscientious about keeping perspective for what’s really important in life & what I should & shouldn’t let bother me, but it seems like that’s a struggle & I’m reverting back to my old ways.
I’m feeling lost.
It seems like I can’t stop myself from doing stupid shit & making stupid choices & I do it consciously - that’s the worst fucking part.
I feel Iike, I don’t know, I need change, but i hate change, and usually I just wait for something to happen to the point of I have no choice but deal with it. Ok it’s midnight. Another poor choice. Journaling when i have to be up in 5 hours. Ugh! The struggle is real!
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