Sparkling water in What's Happening

  • Jan. 26, 2020, 4:46 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

I woke up well-rested this morning. When my eyes focused it took me a slight second to realize where I was. I scanned the area for clues.

It didn’t take long…

”My friend’s guest room”, I guessed accurately. Details of last night started to come back to me.

I went over my friend’s house last night. I planned on an innocent visit. I showed up with a six pack of 8oz beers and a half pint of Fireball.

I walked in during the most awkward moment. Him and his finance were both on the phone with very serious faces.

“Is everything okay?”, I whispered.

”Yeah” , my friend said.

I sat on the couch and listened to the conversation to try to figure out what was going on. He was talking to his brother about why he didn’t invite him to his wedding.

I heard him trying to explain it nicely:

”Do you remember when I was a kid and you had that VW van?”, he said - desperately trying to articulate what he was thinking metaphorically.

”Well, I don’t think you ever grew up from then”

His brother sounded like the classic textbook-loser.

It’s kinda weird that I’ve been such close friends with this guy for so long and I know so little about the rest of his family. He doesn’t like to talk about them though and I never inquired to find out more about them.

When he finally hung up he told me it’s been 10 years since he’s talked to his brother. I asked him why he even called him. He said he didn’t, his fiancé did. She was drunk and feeling guilty about not inviting her own brother who was a similar dead-beat. Then somehow she ended up adding my friends brother into the mix.

I assured him that there is no reason to feel guilty about not inviting his brother to the wedding if he doesn’t want him there.

It concerns me how often these two get drunk. They seem to sit at home every night and drink. Every time I go there they are at the tail-end of a long day of drinking. They are always telling the same stories and watching the same TV shows. It’s amazing to me, the amount of drama they are able to stir up without even leaving the house.

At the end of the night I was done drinking the small amount of alcohol that I brought with me and planning to head back home, but my friend pulled out a bottle of Jameson and started pouring shots. He kept pouring one after another. At one point he couldn’t handle them anymore and I saw him throw up in the sink. It was gross, but I was too drunk to be bothered by it at that point.

There was no way I could drive home so I slept in the guest bed.

Even with a full night of sleep I felt like I was still drunk when I woke up. The whole drive home while I was struggling to drive normal. I was doing the math to determine how long it’s been since my last drink. It had to have been about 7 hours. I was trying to determine if I was actually still drunk or if I was just disheveled.


Me and my friend Sconer would have went to gym early this morning, but his daughter broke her leg at the trampoline place yesterday. She’s like 5 years old. I felt so bad hearing about her tiny little leg breaking. I found a teddy bear on Amazon with a cast on the one leg. I’m going to drop it off today as a get well present if it comes in on time.

I never cared much about people’s kids or their pets, but for some reason people’s kids and pets take a liking to me. I always hear things like ”They usually don’t like strangers”. Maybe I’m interesting to kids and pet animals because I don’t acknowledge them the same way as many people do. I talk to kids the same way as adults. I never change the inflection in my voice.

When I go to Sconer’s his kids climb all over me like I’m a jungle gym. They are fun to play with, but I don’t think I could deal with that full time.

Anyway, I need to chug some water and hope I don’t get a hangover today.


Last updated January 26, 2020


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