SEX, DEATH AND TINKERBELL - Part 2 in Adventures From Prison

That night, after our four o’clock count (when the C.O.s make sure no one has wandered off) I headed to the library so I could go to dinner with my co-workers instead of my unit. We’re standing together by the door when the Emergency Alarm goes off all across the compound. Before we know it there are C.O.s running past us all heading toward the REC department. This is far from unusual – it’s standard practice, in fact, for when a CO or inmate is in physical danger. So we all get locked inside the Education Department and settle in to watch the show. What must have been 20 staff members disappear into the Rec. We later found out one of the nicest CO’s on the Compound was having a severe allergic reaction to something she ate and needed medical help. Fortunately, she is fine now. After 15 minutes, the Cos start to leave Rec. They were all walking calmly, coming slowly down from their adrenaline rushes. Suddenly one of them starts to run again – this time towards one of the dorms. “What the hell?” I ask. More and more of the Cos turn, then start running. The few who were still in Rec pour out of its gates, all moving as fast as their still tired bodies will let them, towards my dorm. “Is this seriously happening?” Jay asks, “Two emergencies back to back? Here?” You have to remember this compound is mellow to an extreme. Fights and other prisony things are rare. So we all crowd around a window to watch the newest spectacle. First one lieutenant filled golf cart pulls up outside my dorm, followed quickly by another from the Medical Department. They all vanish inside the building. We see a few staff members walking around the yard, telling the few inmates allowed to be outside after the move that they have to go inside a building. Then nothing, for over a half hour the compound just sat there silent and empty. “What the hell?” I mutter, my stomach now gurgling with hunger. “Did someone die or something? I’m freakin hungry.” As if on cue, the door opens and out comes everyone in the lower section of my dorm. They march across the compound and into the Chow Hall. One by one the lieutenants file out, get in their cart and drive away. The Medical cart drives over to the infirmary, loads on a stretcher and goes to the back door of my dorm – which we can see from where we were standing. “Someone must be really sick.” Jay said “Or worse,” someone else added. After a few more minutes the stretcher emerges being carried by several C.O.s. It’s funny how even from a distance you can tell when someone is dead. The way their body lies, even when strapped to a stretcher, just triggers some instinctual knowledge in our hind-brain. We later learned it was a man who had been in prison for 20 years and was due to go home next month. His aorta literally burst, supposedly, from the strain caused by doing some illegal substance while the guards were away dealing with Emergency #1. The idea of getting so close to freedom only to have it cut short terrifies me, which is probably why I’m more health conscious now than ever before. So while the C.O.s cleaned up after the two crisis’s, we wander back into the library to wait for the compound to reopen for dinner. My friends are teasing me, having heard my complaints about my hunger. “See, Gus, wished the guy dead.” Jay jibes. “I did not!” I laugh. “You so did. That’s the secret about you,” Jay continues for the audience. “You act like the nicest, most caring guy in the world…unless someone gets in the way of dinner!” "It is lasagna tonight,” I reminded them, kiddingly. A few guys nod in agreement, as if the menu really does make a difference.
“Besides compared to you guys, I am nice. Hell, I’m freaking Tinkerbell compared to Dave.” Everyone falls silent, then starts laughing like mad. “Shit,” I think realizing what I’d just done to myself. Open mouth, insert foot. Sure enough, the next morning I’m at work and in walks Auntie Fester with a huge, gap-tooth grin. “Hey Tink, how you doing? (flick) (flick). I sigh and walk away.