Me in My life

I can laugh.It can be the funniest thing in the world.I can laugh,but I can also cry.Crying lingers a lot longer than any form of happiness.I can be extremely happy one day and all of the sudden my emotions just bubble to the surface.I just want to lock myself in a stall and cry my eyes out until 2020 is over.I hate waking up every day and thinking that things are going to be better.It never turns out how I want it to turn out.There is always something every day that just makes me feel worthless.I realized that my best friends literally had a better connection with my crush than I do.I could blame that on my mom but it is partly my fault too.If my mom would give me my phone back I bet that guys would literally be dying to talk to me but I don’t have one.I basically lose all connection with high school friends and it sucks.I won’t have a life until I get my phone back.If I wouldn’t have texted that one guy I would still have my phone.I hate my life.I can’t explain anything with my friends because they are always calling me dramatic and it actually hurts my feelings. Calison literally called me dramatic today.She never listens to me.I literally have nobody to talk to about my feelings.Every corner there is always somebody that has something rude to say.I don’t even know why I still call these people my friends.I need a long vacation to get away from everybody.I have also been losing weight recently and I cant eat a lot.My mom thinks I have an eating disorder but I think it is just stress.Before coming to school I always feel really sick and it just gets worse.Like the anticipation is just eating away at my insides.I don’t understand any of this but writing about it is kind of helping.I just need time to figure out my life.