this week has been extremely long. not only did the time change stink for my sleep, but we had parent/teacher conferences on tuesday, so that was a fun 13 hour day, and every day ran every class. yes, this is my job, but when you throw a 13 hour day in there, you're half hoping for whatever reason a class or two the rest of the week wont show/has to be rescheduled so you can take a break.
i cried at the end of my statistics class on wednesday night. i was the last one to finish the problem that lets us go home. the. last. one. i did the problem, did something wrong, didnt know what i did, so i had to start over. over. completely. i got the problem in the end, but once my professor came over and was hovering over me, watching me work/trying to figure out what i was doing wrong, i panicked and lost it. i got the answer and didnt cry until he asked me to round the answer up so it was 2 decimal points instead of 4...whatever reason, i had to speak and that was it! i cried hard too. and then he was telling me "dont rush, thats how you make mistakes. its not a race...." blah blah blah all the crap everyone tells you. i wasnt rushing. i obviously was not rushing. i was the last one to finish the work. it would have been one thing if i came up to him 2 or 3 times with the wrong answer. i didnt come up to him at all. i was sitting at my desk the whole time working and trying to concentrate with all the noise around me. i felt like i was back in high school or my freshman year of college, becoming frustrated over math and not knowing what to ask my teacher. thats my problem. i wont understand something, but i dont know what i dont understand, so i dont know what question to ask. im not ashamed to ask a question. if i dont understand something and can articulate what i dont understand, i will ask for clarification. how am i to ask a question when i dont know what the question is? and everyone else has moved on, so i do feel embarrassed to say "can you start over?" sigh it will get better this week. im pretty sure i did my homework right...we'll see! math has never been my strong suit, as much as i try.
the rest of the week was uneventful, except for a good friend of mine having her baby! his name is wesley. he was 19 days early and only 5 lbs 11 oz. she had an emergency c-section, so i havent heard the story yet. she just got home from the hospital on friday night and isnt ready for visitors yet. hopefully i will get to see her and the little guy next weekend! fingers crossed.
i got an email yesterday from my old cooperating teacher. he and the head of the music department at the high school i student taught at asked me to adjudicate string player auditions for a summer program next weekend. i guess the head of the department was supposed to do it, but he will be out of town and needs a sub. i was surprised to get the email. im a little flattered. its something to put on my resume and maybe a little extra cash out of it, so i said yes. this means i need to come back from upstate on friday evening instead of saturday morning, but thats ok. i think ill leave upstate late (around 7 or 8) so i get some time with my family but still get to come back in time for the auditions. im hoping that there might be some summer work opportunities through whatever music camp this is. i need to look them up...
today i got my car fixed, cleaned, did the laundry, and got some work done. nothing too exciting. hopefully tomorrow is a little more social. it was super nice to sleep in today. this week kicked my butt. ive been achy all over and exhausted. im surprised i havent gotten canker soars all over my mouth. usually when i feel this worn down, i get all the body aches and tiredness along with canker soars. my voice has been weak, however, which is never good when you're starting concert material.
hope youre all enjoying your weekend!
~mana~
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