03JAN2020: Pathetic Behavior in Sergeant's Log

(1) I put a check on myself a week ago, now it is time to implement. In general the last two years has been mark with pathetic behavior. I been lacking discipline, both physically and mentally. It is time to get back on track and aggressive.

(2) Why am I generally not happy? What am I doing to promote negativity? Unless an event happens to prevent it otherwise, I need to be feeling happiness at some point of the day, everyday. Working towards this is a non-negotiable.

(3) Discipline. I have lost it and working towards this is also non-negotiable. What can I be doing now? Not someday, today.

(4) Goal oriented. I need to be working off of a calendar more. Starting now.

(5) Joining a HIIT program on the 13th with my coworker. Whether he comes or not, I am still going. Getting back into that warrior conditioning.

(6) My time. Placing a higher value on it. No bullshitting around on the phone or doing senseless things that do not attribute towards a goal. Only on scheduled downtime do I get to dick around. WHY do I have to tell myself this at 29 lol. 2 hour intervals of uninterrupted work everyday. 5 minute breaks when required during those two hours. No phone, News, or anything that will sidetrack me.

(7) Guitar. I need to pick this back up. I use to love it and I need a mentally simulating activity that I find joy in. First song to work at: “Never Learn” by The Devil Makes Three.

(8) This weekend will be my first real entry under Ignatowski. I think I am going to write about this girl that I fell in love with 7 years ago. She and I are friends now, but Jesus I’d love to have a chance. We live on opposite sides of the country unfortunately.