In answer to the request from Jordan, I don't know if I have any pictures of the Caribbean party. The dragon may have taken some, but I will post if I can find any.
It was all high drama in the office this morning. First Robin couldn't find his laptop and it was assumed stolen. Then a fire engine showed up. The laptop turned up in a cupboard. Ironically it was put there in case it was stolen. And the fire engine turned out to be for the building next door, so we didn't even get to evacuate.
Last night I was bicycling home from the station and a complete dick-head pulled out of a side road right in front of me looking left and driving forward. I was of course approaching from his right, and was thus completely invisible to him. As luck would have it, his window was open and he was therefore able to hear me call him a moron. I was knocked off my bike at the exact same spot by another dick-head doing exactly the same thing a year or two ago.
This missing plane from Malaysia is bothering. How can a plane just vanish? I am ruling out terrorists because no one has claimed responsibility, and there is no sign of debris. I'm ruling out hijacking because there was no distress call and the plane hasn't turned up anywhere. Also, you can hijack a plane, but making it vanish is difficult. Pilot error or suicide is ruled out too because there was no wreckage found, as is catastrophic failure, and a bomb.
We're also being told a lot of rubbish, like perhaps someone turned off all the tracking devices on board. Who'd do that? Even if you did disable all on-board tracking devices, that doesn't make it radar invisible anyway. And that's another thing, I don't think the Chinese military is being quite honest. First we hear that they think the plane made a u-turn, then we see some dodgy satellite footage showing wreckage on the flightpath from three days previously. Then the phantom wreckage vanishes.
Latest reports are suggesting that the engine manufacturers have data from the engines that shows they were still running four hours after the last confirmed position. It's hard to believe that a civilian aircraft could fly for four hours without anyone seeing it on radar or any other way. And that report, which seems to have originated in the Wall Street Journal, has been rejected by Malaysian authorities.
We need a light-hearted story to finish. A road has been closed in Middlesbrough to allow police to search for the severed penis of a man found there in a distressed state with injuries to his groin. A 22-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of assault. You have no idea how much I want to know the rest of this story.
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