Me Then (2004) Now (2014) in Grandma and me

Me Monday - 3/8/2004

I overslept this morning, and thought I would be able to call the boss and get her to agree to letting me come in 30 minutes late without giving me an occurrence. She wouldnt go for it so I ended up using my last personal day. She made it sound like it was my choice but I know its within her powers to let me make the time up without giving me an occurrence. Whatever, she thinks she has me over a barrel since this was my last personal day but I've got three sick days I can use in case of an emergency.

I decided to use the unexpected day off to think about dreams, goals and aspirations. Ive always wanted to have a cat refuge where I could have a home out in the country filled with cats that needed homes. I know though that Im not emotionally tough enough for that kind of work.

Ever since I was a little kid I've dreamed of being a librarian. I've always let practical considerations stop me. In Utah the closest school that offered an ALS degree was in Logan which was miles from my home, and here the closest school is Columbia. However, I'm years away from needing the ALS degree. What I need now can be started at my local community college. Plus from the reading I did today you can get an ALS degree over the Internet that is recognised by the national organization in charge of libraries.

I requested a copy of my community college's application form today, and this should solve the problem of being motivated to go to work as my company will totally reimburse the cost of my education.

Me Tuesday - 3/9/2004

I was looking forward to watching Ground Force America tonight but instead of

Ground Force BBC aired What Not to Wear. Very disappointing.

When I was talking about dreams I should have dreamed about becoming someone

who is not a complete and utter idiot. I realized last night (after 5

hours of surfing Sunday, and 5 hours of surfing Monday) that I was still logged

into the access number closest to my Grandma's house. So thats TEN HOURS

of long distance. This stupid mistake is going to cost me a fortune.

Very upsetting.

Speaking of dreams... I got an IM from my mom wanting to know if I had

taken more pictures of Caden over the weekend, and she said she had already

looked at the one on the diary. No mention of what I wrote Monday

night. No supportive notes left from her. I got more support from

you guys than I got from her. Very sad.

In case you cant tell Im in a blue mood tonight. Lately Ive been

preoccupied with the things I have lost. Grandpa. Men I thought I

loved that are lost to me. Old friends that are lost to me. Parts of

my life that are over and that I did not live the way I wanted like high

school. One of my favorites mentioned that after what happened to Star it

was normal that I would be thinking of death. Maybe its that or maybe I

just need to pop another Prozac. If its the former it must be a sign that

Im turning into my Gpa. When Grandpa's dog died in 1999 he

started recalling all the people in his life that had died. I couldnt

understand why he was putting himself through that. Now maybe I

do.

In the good news department I found out that my local community college has

an online application so I filled it out. They should be contacting me in

2 days! Yay!

Me 3/10/04

Look what I found in my garden today! I wasn't expecting anything in the island flower bed to be in bloom sl this lil guy took me by surprise. I'll have to look at my plans to see what's planted there but I would assume its some kind of tulip.

Thanks for all your supportive notes on my last entry. Im still feeling a little blue but I'm confident it will pass.

Me Thurs 3-13-2014

In reading the entries from 10 years ago I can't believe how much I have changed. Ten years ago I had already burned through my personal days and now I have all 3 of my personal days still to use. I also don't dwell on the past as much as I used to. If I do I put more thought into why I’m doing it and talk about it with friends/family.

I didn't think I would get my car back until afternoon so I went ahead and worked this morning only to get a call at 10 that my car was ready. If I would have known I wouldn't have worked at all today and tried to get more stuff done around the house. Oh well that just means the 4 hours I worked this morning will be 4 extra hours of PTO I can use later in the year.

After work I went to the library. Im excited to start reading the books I had on hold. I got Northanger Abbey and Mansfield Park which I have never read as well as an annotated Pride and Prejudice. The annotated book has the text of Jane Austen's classic book with an introduction to the author's life and work and explanatory notes discussing the novel's historical context, language, characters, and themes.

I’m also reading a really good Young Adult novel I can't wait to finish tonight. Its called 3.59. Its about a girl who changes places with the girl living her life in an alternate universe and finds the girl left out quite a few facts about life in the alternate universe.

Good Things I did for me

Ran 7 miles.

Stayed in calorie range

Gratitude Fun plans with friends to look forward to. Me and Lynn are going out to lunch tomorrow and then we are going to go see 12 Years a Slave.

Pictured top to bottom My 3 legged kitty Gracie and Pepe and Boy