Prompts for July 26th flash friday, and shoes in July 26th, 2013 Flash Friday

Propensity, Obsession, Kidney

Those are your prompts. I’ll leave them in notes in select central geographic locations (e.g. San Salvador, Beirut, Mecca, Christchurch, Barrow, Fresno, Tuscany) or perhaps just digital locations (e.g. Huffington Post, NAMBLA, Prosebox and Open Dairy {sic}).

What’s my problem? I’ll tell you what my problem is --- I seem to be missing a pair of shoes. Normally I only have one pair at a time, but, because I was leaving Oregon I thought perhaps the rest of the world, specifically Ingham County, may not have shoes, so I bought two pair. How did I lose a pair of shoes? If I suspected foul play I’d tell it, perhaps in chapter and verse. I don’t know. It’s not like I go a lot of places where I take my shoes off and forget that I’m leaving barefoot.

I probably have a host of other problems but that is the one foremost in my mind. It’s not something I can get on line. I don’t have the type of feet that just slip into any shoe. It’s not that my feet wouldn’t like to promiscuous, sliding in and out of different shoes all day long. Hell, my feet would wear shoes for money, hang out on street corners asking random shoes if they wanted to party, or talk to strange shoes on a 1-900 number. I’m afraid they are not romantic lead sort of feet, they are more horror show feet and even then not the handsome mad scientist leading man, but the hunchback assistant.

It’s ok, I’ve come to terms with it. I have, perhaps, overcompensated in other areas (my spleen, for instance, is invited to all the best parties, and has a closet full of Armani spleen wear). I do so try to be charming to distract people from noticing my feet are robbing a grave because master needs a fresh brain for his monster. I don’t, however, want to give the impression that I purchase shoes to cover the flaws, the hunch in their backs (heh, bad analogy, the problem is almost the opposite, no hunch, not even a gut feeling, it’s a distinctive lack of hunch, no arch, no real topography at all, but even then one could get internet shoes and internet arch supports. Ideally I’m a men’s 7.5 triple E. Even live and in person it’s hard to find a shoe and I normally go with a 9 wide, because that’s what shoes call themselves. Real shoe salesmen who use those little feet slide rules always gasp or say whoa or sometimes, if they’ve been talking to me for a while, say shit or fuck or god damn.).

I’m considering opening with “Do you have my shoes?” which an innocent party might answer “Beg Pardon?” or “Sir, we have everyone’s shoes” and a guilty party might try to run. I may have the deadliest aim of any pacifist living or dead (though I hear Gandhi could knock the cap off a coke bottle at fifty yards without breaking the glass). No I would not kill a man over a pair of shoes, but I might make sure he walks with a limp, and only over a very specific pair of shoes; mine.

I’d like cowboy boots. Try finding them in an 8 triple E. I’d like gray calf skin platforms. This is the Midwest. Addias used to make a shoe they claimed was made from Kangaroo skin, I don’t know if that was true, and I only saw them in blue, but it ran wide and were light as a feather with a tread just this side of a cleat. Living in Oregon for most of my life I had this love/hate relationship with Nike, now that they don’t support my local economy I can actively hate them; overpriced, poorly made --- if they put half of what they put into marketing into their shoes you should be able to fly in them. Anyhow those are my prompts. If you have my shoes I will find and I will make you rue the day, hell, I’ll make you rue the day, roo the day, rouge the day and however you spell the kind of rue that involve shortening and flour. Your day will be rue’ed; hard corps.

Consider yourself Prompted. If you have my shoes consider yourself warned. Consider me spent.