Easier is key. in Life's missed happenings.

Whoa the changes! That's all I will say. I kind of dig it!

Work went a lot smoother this week. I didn't feel the need to sever anyone's manhood and place it firmly in their rectum, or any other vile thoughts. Which is a vast improvement from last week. I feel like I am moving into a groove with these "new" coworkers. I have worked around them for years, but never with them. So having to adjust to their way of doing things, versus my way doing things (which is always better, because I am awesomesauce!), is rather challenging. Apparently I am doing well pretending to mesh well with them, because my supervisor offered my old position back to me. (I kind of miss being under that desk. I need to remember knee pads!) It would mean more money and a lot of stupid responsibility, but the other option would be me moving to another department. Adam is the other option and having to take orders from someone-that-thinks-he-is-far-too-superior-to-be-working-in-a-place-that-we-do + authority = RedruM. The supervisor was totally blowing smoke up my ass too. "I wish I had 5 more guys just like you. We don't have a whole lot of seasoned hands anymore. Blah. blah. blah." He told my old Lead that I would never have that position again. Mainly because I don't take unnecessary bullshit from anyone. So yeah, work is good.

The eldest nephew is settling in nicely. No misbehaving, yet. Hopefully he stays on the good road for a while. I don't think I want to deal with the tantrums of a teen. Trish is getting on my last nerves though. Even though I love her to death and don't mind helping her at all, but it just seems like she doesn't understand that, I am helping her. She acted like I was taking advantage of her for asking for some kind of help for taking him in. I told her this month is very bad for my financially. I am having to pay off a stupid mistake I made last year around this time. The damn Crazies are still lingering. It will be very tight until the second week of April. I just wanted to slap her. She hasn't been returning my texts and when she does finally answer, "she will call me back later." Even though I took the eldest and the youngest to the doctor today for her. There are a couple of other things that I am doing that she doesn't see as me helping, but as my responsibility. Again, I really don't mind. I love my niece and nephews, and I am honored to have them in my life. She is starting to expect me to do these things and I don't handle that very well. I start to back away quickly. She should know this. Maybe I am over thinking this, maybe not. It is still how I will feel.

Mom's birthday is tomorrow. Dad called and wanted to take me to lunch and hang out. It is a hard day for him as well. She was his true love. He never stopped loving her and he wasn't afraid to admit it. It didn't hinder him any. He still moved on and married the beast.

Last year I honored her by going to the Eagle. A gay bar Trish and I used to sneak down to when she was in the hospital. We would have a couple and then go back and sit. Sit in silence while she was on the respirator or when she was conscience asking where we had been. I totally regret never taking her to a gay bar with me. She wanted to go, but I just never took her. I regret a lot about our relationship and how I treated her sometimes. One of her favorite lines was, "you're going to miss me when I am gone." I just never thought she would ever be gone. So that wasn't an option for me. Her death has changed me in so many ways and I am still learning to adapt to it. I forget it most of the time because I feel her around a lot. The it all catches up with me and cry with snot and all. The unattractive kind. As time goes on, it has turned into a dull ache instead of a tremor of pain to the life source. So it has gotten easier and easier is key.