So far this week, I've seen the same question asked in two different places by two different people:
How do you write a strong female character?
which is, clearly, the wrong question to ask, because you're taking the default position that if you write a female character, she will be weak.
But taking the question as it stands, someone in one of the threads where this was asked suggested switching the gender of a male character into being a woman, which then degenerated into a 200 reply argument of whether making a woman without paying attention to her feminine characteristics is sexist.
(On reading that thread, a naive reader would conclude that if you do, you're sexist, and if you don't, you're sexist.^)
I suggested the same thing in the other thread, with the caveat that if you did that, and the final character was not a strong woman, then you never had a strong male character either.
Because, you see, a lot of strong male characters aren't. A lot of them are simply macho.
And what we, as a society (and perhaps all societies to some extent) have done is conflate macho, manly and strong, when they have little, if anything, to do with one another.
And it's a problem beyond just writing. It is not just that people cannot easily write strong characters, because they can't see it.
It is because people, themselves, don't know how to be strong.
Peter Cullen, surrogate father figure to generations of children, explained it once and perhaps explained it best: Optimus Prime is inspired by his own elder brother.
Larry Cullen: Larry: ... Peter, be a real hero. Don’t be one of those... Hollywood prototypes. Be strong enough to be gentle. Don’t be yelling and screaming all the time. That’s my advice Peter. Take it or leave it.^^ (emphasis mine.)
Strength is not about the domination of others. Strength is the power to resist domination by others. There is a critical difference.
And strength, true strength, reaches out from deep inside yourself, to drag others out of hell with you.
Be strong enough to be gentle. Be strong enough to help the weak, be strong enough to fight without hatred, be strong enough, ultimately, to bring out the best in the people around you. Be strong enough to make others strong, because you don't fear them, because you know them, because you helped create them and you helped to create this better world.
Be kind.
If you want to be strong, learn what that strength is for first.
note: start the video at 2min 21 s if you're in a hurry
The quote is lifted from http://collider.com/peter-cullen-transformers-prime-comic-con-interview/ , as part of their Comic-Con 2012 coverage.
^This is in fact accurate.
^^Clearly Gerald Butler left it.
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