The Rear-view Window in A New Beginning

The last few days have been super annoying, I’ll keep it kind of short as I am a reader on this site too and I know what it’s like to have a few people I am following write full on books about their day of shopping. :P

Lets talk about the most annoying thing, and see where we go from there, the ex-wife asked me today if this Friday (You know.. the largest shopping day of the year) if i was getting paid. My answer “yes, why does that matter to you?” and she said “well my bills are tight this month” and I responded “and… I already paid you 1k this month and gave you that refund check that came in your name to my apartment, and you didn’t even know about it, so you are 2k to the positive as of 2 weeks ago, and your $800 rent is giving you issues?” she then went on to explain all the things she spent money on and most of it wasn’t bills or anything. soo I just didn’t respond anymore, she’s not getting a dime. ON TOP of all that, she just started her job at Walmart, and her stay at home boyfriend just got a job too, so they’ll have money soon enough to pay for everything. I’m not her financial security anymore, she didn’t have to worry about that with me for 8 years, now she needs to survive on her minimum wage jobs (she DOES have a masters degree so don’t let that fool you, she didn’t want to work even when she did have a job when she was married to me). She’s just used to having me around making 65-90k/year and never needing to worry about bills being paid and having extra every month to have fun or get presents or anything, and now she does. I straight up just told her “i’m not your financial security anymore, he is.. you’re looking the wrong way for the money” and she stopped texting me for an hour and started back up with how she wants to be with me and loves me and blah blah blah.. in short, i told her that there is no way i’m jumping back into any relationship with her or any chicks anytime soon. I have felt just locked away in a cage for a few years and now i’m finally free, i have a voice again, i have freedom again, i have control over my life and finances and weekends and who i talk to and friends again.. I told her that the more i think about it, the more i’m realizing that I actually don’t like living with other women, i enjoy having all my time be mine, I don’t have to come home to “do this, do that, we’re going here, or going there, So’n’so said this and I don’t like it, hey i bought this - go pick it up.. and on and on and on..” or even just the constant bitching and complaining about life, how exhausting, i thought each time i got in a relationship i was getting involved with another adult who took care of their own lives and their own things they want. ME DOING THINGS FOR YOU IS NOT LOVE, ITS ME THINKING YOU’RE A KID, AND THAT’S NOT SEXY OR APPEALING. So I told her, if some day in the distant future if I ever think of being with a chick again, I want to live separately, be totally loyal to her as she is to me, and just go on a couple dates a week and take her on a trip every other month and just give her my best on those days and over our daily communications. No more living with her, no more mixing finances, no more married life.. I’m done.. I doubt there’s a woman out there that wants this life with me, but fuck it, i don’t care if there is. I’ve been dating sense i was 13 and now i’m 33 and have never been single till now, and i’m loving it, I have never been so free feeling in my life, the other day i was thinking of a motorcycle i can go get this coming summer by trading in my old one, and now i can finally think about it and actually do it without anybody saying a word or checking in with anybody.. it’s my money, i have the extra cash, i have the license.. so i’m going to do it.. easy as that, it’s so liberating to know that’s the end of the conversation on that. :)
hope you all have a great Turkey Day and Weekend!