Lost inside of a college mind in Thoughts that stump me

I wandered around in a sea of words and ideas. Looking and searching for magic to appear once again. I have lost hope or want to read books. I just can’t, I don’t see why, I don’t want to see why. I am scared, I don’t want to feel, to think, to give effort to love and comprehend the human complexity. I don’t the thoughts knowing I am wasting away the opportunity of my college. Knowing some are in the slums of a third world country wishing for an opportunity like mine. I don’t want to think about their suffering, how some don’t have enough to eat yet I am here complaining about getting too full. I don’t want to divulge into a story, get attached only for it to end. I don’t want to feel along these emotions that weight on me like chains of iron. I walked through shelves of books at the library today, hoping, wishing a book would claim me. Making me read it, but to no avail. All I felt was despair knowing I don’t want to read, I refuse to fear out of fear and agony. Maybe this is all in my head but it’s eating me away as time passes, it’s been months since I last read a book, I fear if I keep on this track, I won’t be able to read later on in life. Hopefully soon I find an answer. -V