Questionaire in Stuff no one should read

Do you like mustard?
I do not, in any amount, with any food.

Choice of beverage?
Hot tea, unsweetened.

Do you own a gun?
Yes, but none in working order. I have some heirloom rifles that probably would fire if cleaned and loaded, but they are locked in a case and haven’t been touched in some time. I also have a handgun that my grandfather took from a Nazi soldier, or so the story goes.

Can you swim?
Yes, quite well for a desert-dweller!

Hot dogs or cheeseburgers?
I would prefer the hot dogs, but mostly because I do not like cheese on hamburgers.

Favorite type of food?
I am entirely too fond of meats of all persuasion, cow, pig, chicken, deer, elk, buffalo (thanks to a friend with a license to harvest them), and snake, I have tried and enjoyed them all. I think my all-time favorite would be the humble steak ribeye, though.

Do you believe in ghosts?
There are no ghosts. All ghost sightings are either mistaken identity or hallucinations.

What do you drink in the morning?
Coffee or water. I like milk in the morning but it leaves me feeling bloated and slightly sick.

Can you do a 100 push-ups?
Not all at once. I could probably do 100 in 20 minutes with some breaks.

Summer, Winter, Spring, Or Fall?
Spring and fall, in equal amounts. I like watching everything change. Winter is dull and flavorless. Summer is hot and oppressive.

Favorite hobby?
I do a fair amount of woodworking. I also play a lot of games, though I do not think you can really call that a “hobby”.

Tattoos?
None

Do you wear glasses?
I do not.

Do you have a phobia?
Yes, a couple. I do not do well with heights and get bad vertigo on ledges. I do not actually feel afraid, but I get dizzy when I look down and then I am afraid of falling! I am also “phobic” of certain people.

Nicknames?
A couple. One is known by the general public and I will not reveal it here, but the other is “Groucho”. Mostly my more distant family calls me that. When I was a kid I had really thick, bushy eyebrows. They look more normal now, but they were my main distinguishing characteristic for many years.

Biggest downfall?
Not standing up to my brother when people’s lives were on the line. His control of me was complete at that point, but I still blame myself.

Rain or Snow?
I prefer snow, because it is much more likely to close roads and make it impossible for me to get to work.

Can you change a tire?
Yes. Not quickly, but yes.

Can you drive a standard?
Yes. Not quickly, but yes. I learned to drive on a manual but have driven automatic for so long I would not trust myself not to grind the gears a bit.

Ever gone skydiving?
No. Given that I get vertigo on tall ladders, I think it would be a terrifying experience rather than an exhilarating one.

Kids?
A couple. Oldest one is almost 11.

Favorite color?
Deep, rich browns. People look at me oddly but there is nothing as comforting to me as a room filled with earth tones and the colors and scents of rich wood.

Employed?
Yes.

Can you whistle?
Yes, both in and out, and I have put some practice into it. I can whistle better than most people, I think, because I have a very good ear for pitch.

Religious?
I am not, though there are members of my family that would be very upset to hear that. Most of my family are Ahmadi Muslims, which is not a favorite in my ancestral homeland. I also have relatives who are Sunni, and others that are Christian. As you might imagine, we do not do reunions.

Shower or Bath?
There is nothing as relaxing and civilized as a hot bath. Showers get you clean, baths restore the soul.

Last song you listened to?
This one that someone just sent me this morning, in fact:

I do not speak Arabic and I was born in this country, but my well-meaning co-worker sent this to me anyway, I suspect because I look like an Arab. This song, though, I like ever since I first heard it in the 5th Element during the taxi chase.

How many tv’s in your house?
One, but several tablets serve as de facto TVs.

Worst pain ever?
I had a firecracker exploded against my chest as a child. It didn’t hurt much when it actually happened, but the month of healing afterward was a nightmare of painful itching and oozing, and then I had to have surgery to fix an infection that destroyed part of my pectoral muscle. The surgery was done in a poor country. I had anesthetic but the recover was painful and I got another infection. When they lanced and drained that - that was the most painful thing ever. And it still took another month to heal afterward. Now I have a scar there that looks like someone just took an ice cream scoop to my chest right next to my nipple.

Do you like to sing?
Yes, though I am very bad at it. I prefer to whistle.

Are your parents still alive?
My mother is.

Do you like camping?
A single overnight is fun. More than that and I yearn for the comfort of civilization.