Bubba birthday party in A New Journey

Boyd and I got dressed and went to eat lunch at Stanford’s Grub and Pub and omg the salad I ordered was on a whole cookie tray and HOLY MOLY I could not even eat but only 25% of the tray, WHO EATS a whole cookie tray of salad?? IT had everything with it, tomatoes broccoli, avocado’s, shrimp, fahati’s, variety of lettuces, etc, I eat salads every day with my diet and just seeing the whole cookie tray I thought my stomach is going to get bloated. I got overwhelmed, SO I could not even eat much of it! Do any of you ever experience that when you eat out!!

Then we went on to a JUMP CRAZE for Bubba birthday party and I was shocked my daughter let Bubba invite 15 kids to the party and believe or not all of them showed up at the party. I was overwhelmed again, SO I don’y know why this feeling like I am having a panic attack (As I never get it or ever experienced it), SO I am trying to figure out whats going on with my mind and body.
BUT I think it has to do with the situation of all the talks my parents are having about my oldest brother death that happened 39 years ago, I am getting 3 different stories of what happened and with me living here in Wyoming as it happened here in Riverton, Wyoming, and my niece (Her dad was killed on the day her mom found out she was pregnant) wants to see where her dad was killed and where his ashes are spread in November, as they will be staying with me. SO all this has been causing me to have nightmares and I have only shared to a few people that when my brother was killed I woke up feeling his death at the moment he died, so this has been hard for me. SO any ways at Bubba party as I was getting so overwhelmed I had to come home and take a chill pill ( my cbd stress relieve essential oil) I was able to relax for a little bit and Boyd is now sleeping I thought I come in here and get this off my chest so I can feel better, There is saying if you keep inside it will make it worse right??
Well any ways, I hope every one is having a good Saturday so far, its warming up here, high of 56 here with lots of sun out there.
Have a wonderful evening.

Thanks for listening/reading my vents!!