Chamomile & Lavender in Magical Realism

I have done absolutely nothing to better myself since I last posted. Have gone through some fits and spurts of getting back on track but overall things have been mostly the same. I am still the same. I know what I need to do to feel better/be better but instead I just repeat the same stupid habits and bad behavior. I am disappointed in myself.

Swimming has been…mediocre. I had these high hopes and so many of my plans did not pan out. I guess I was due for a year like this. Open water swimming is different to many sports in that there are so many variables. Many, like the weather, we cannot control. I still managed to complete 8 major marathon swims. I was fortunate to do these because one alone can be something other people train years for. But it was not the season I’d hoped for.

We cancelled local swims for many reasons. The weather, bad conditions, river closure due to the UN general assembly, and avoiding conflict with a local swim organization who have made my life difficult. After so much success in Italy in previous years, I ran into an unscrupulous pilot and had to cancel the swim I’d been looking forward to for two years. I could not even enjoy it as a vacation even though we were in such a stunning place. We went home early and on our last night someone hit our car in the parking lot. It was a trip where many things went wrong, but I can’t complain because we are safe.

This summer a fellow swimmer died after a swim, he went under and his body was lost by the organization. NYPD searched for days and finally found it, as his funeral was going on in North Carolina. One fellow swimmer and friend was maimed during a swim due to gross recklessness by the organizer. He is doing well but will never be the same. It doesn’t affect me except that I think about it too much and loop all this swim nastiness together in my head. There are so many stupid feuds, people are so awful and petty and nasty and I thought by doing the right thing I could stay out of it but I cannot. Work is more of the same. The world is more of the same.

I am trying to look on the bright side. I turned 40. I did a swim on my birthday, and won the swim. It’s a little funny, the only other time that swim was held on my birthday, I came in first too. The next day I did a swim around Manhattan too and it was one of the nicest swims of the summer. The first 2 days of 40 were some of the best of the year. My last swim of the summer felt low-grade shitty, but was my fastest Manhattan circumnavigation swim ever and my first one under 8 hours. AND A saw a turtle swimming near me by the downtown Heliport. I love how New York City never stops surprising me. A Cricket in Times Square! A Turtle in the East River! (All of you with age appropriate kids, please buy them this. Seriously.)

Yesterday was A’s birthday. He is 43 now. I didn’t get him any gifts but booked his flight to Barbados - my airfare and the hotel were covered so I’m hoping it will be a nice and low stress trip in a beautiful place. I said yes because I am saying yes to these things as a rule, but I don’t really want to be photographed or have people judge me if I look unfit and/or don’t swim well, but I am trying to look at it as a free trip with many people I do enjoy and hopefully some quality time alone with A. We are also going on a shipwreck tour and maybe swim with sea turtles so that would be awesome.

We both worked yesterday but he got out a little early and I booked us early dinner at Tao Downtown. The ambiance is still nice there, and the food is tasty. A had 2 Lucky Buddha lagers, in a cute beer bottle shaped like a green buddha. I had a ruby red dragon cocktail with grapefruit vodka, yuzu, and a bit of pomegranate. It was nice but too sweet. A ordered the edamame with maldon sea salt and the drunken lobster pad thai. I had the rock shrimp lettuce cups and miso black cod. We shared everything, didn’t even come close to finishing anything. Took everything home and finished with a pot of tao herbal tea - chamomile and lavender.

Last updated October 10, 2019