Where's the line? A poll. I'm curious about your thoughts. in A little left of normal

So, I’m still part of a reddit group of ‘fit pregnancy’ women- mostly because I was horrified at the thought of becoming morbidly obese or something during pregnancy. Thankfully I didn’t, but I didn’t do anything crazy either- I wasn’t powerlifting and doing half marathons or anything, I just tried to eat as healthily as I could and walked as much as possible. No crazy pregnant lady binges, a few jogs the rare times I felt I could… I was back to pre-pregnancy weight a few weeks after having kiddo. I’m just as surprised as you, trust me. It wasn’t a crazy fit weight, but it is what it is.

In this fitpregnancy group, many of the women openly laugh off the advice of their doctors/midwives. Things like about how much they can lift etc… I realize the 25lb limit is a little outdated sure, but some of these women are powerlifting hundreds of pounds at the gym. A few days ago a woman was moaning about having to switch to a more uncomfortable harness for rockclimbing. I’ve seen more pregnant marathon pictures than I care to think about.

And look- there were suggestions I didn’t follow either, but I talked to my doctor/midwife before I did them. I read the studies and research about what was ‘safe’ and the risks of each- listeria, wine/beer etc… after reading Expecting Better I allowed myself 4oz of wine every now and then, I realized that even submerging my lettuce in bleach wasn’t going to kill e-coli so fuck it, and I had a better chance of getting into a car accident every day of the week than I did of contracting listeria from a cold cut sammich. A single cup of coffee a day had zero effect, so I had one when I wished. Again, these were all things I talked about with my doctor before doing them.

That said, I did of course also make a number of sacrifices. I like rockclimbing, but I stopped going. No horseback riding that fall. No more raw sushi. No going out for drinks with friends, no more wine on the porch in the evenings. Every single day… my pelvis hurt. Not just a dull ache but a sharp pain of bone on bone where the front two bones began to grind against one another as my ligaments stretched. Lifting a leg up, like getting into bed, was agony.

What I’m saying is I don’t want pregnant women to suffer or something- but at a certain point, where is the line of sacrifice to have your child? Are we really no longer willing to make some sacrifices for 9 months in the name of creating a baby? Sure, you can probably keep doing crazy workouts, but… should you? At what point is it selfish and/or nuts to refuse to give up your workouts… so you can safely carry your baby? I understand not wanting to give up the things you enjoy, but for every 100 women who can safely keep powerlifting hundreds of pounds while carrying a baby in their belly, there’s that one that ends up losing that child for something like needing a cerclage and not getting it in time after that much physical exertion. And for what? The thrill of rockclimbing that day? To be able to tell people you never stopped climbing or working out up until the day you gave birth? You couldn’t give it up for 9 months for the very real risk of a placental abruption?

Of course there has to be a line somewhere- I don’t expect women to stay in a bubble of bedrest for 9 months- I certainly didn’t. Everyone has to make a choice, I get it. I weighed a 1 in 20,000 risk for a turkey sandwich, and the 1 in 200 risk of getting into a car accident every day (wow that was high) on the way to work. I had that sandwich, and I still drove to work every day. I did however stop doing intense workouts at the gym and at home. I tried not to lift anything over 35 pounds, and I let my husband clean the catboxes.

Obviously there are way more than the examples I laid out, and I get that this issue isn’t black and white. It just seems like these women keep egging each other on to do more and more in the name of female empowerment- run harder, climb higher, never give up a workout, don’t give up anything because you don’t need to! I’ve seen firsthand the devastation of miscarriage. Where is the line?