My daughter is 12 years old. The last time she saw her sperm donor was around her 2nd birthday.
Thankfully he and I never got married, and I left him when she was 11 months old because he was physically, mentally, and sexually abusive to me. We went through the courts for visitation and child support, and he saw her probably 3 times after I left. The meetings were supervised in a public place, and for the third one, a week after her 2nd birthday, he brought her a couple of toys from the dollar store and cut the meeting short. He left me an email the day before the next meet saying he was moving to PA and he wouldn't be able to visit, but he'd let me know the next time he was in the area. He never asked to visit with her again.
When I left him, he came back to the house in the middle of the night and took all of her and my stuff and said I could have them back when I took him back. He kept threatening to kill himself if I didn't return, so his mom left me messages saying if he died, she was gonna do the same to me. He even threatened to burn down my parents' house (where Kara and I were staying), and if he was lucky, we would all be killed in the fire. When I tried to have her last name changed to mine, he blocked it and told me it was only because he knew it would piss me off.
He got married about 9 months after I left him, and the first of his two sons was born 6 months later. I didn't hear anything from him until Kara was about 5, when he just asked to see a picture of her. When his wife left him about 4 years ago (he abused her even worse than me), he again asked to see a picture of her, asked how she was doing, and that was that. Both times I would panic that he was going to ask to see her, but he didn't. (He didn't pay his child support either, and is now $30,000 in arrears...)
At this point he is married again and has another daughter, and when he talks about his kids online, he only mentions the 3.... and I like it that way because I don't want him anywhere near her. But nowadays things aren't so good between her and I, and I have known for years how badly she wants a father in her life. She is with my parents at the moment, and so my Mom calls me tonight to give me a heads up: Kara unexpectedly wants to meet her father.
All I can do is panic. There are so many potential issues that could come up if she decides to pursue this, and I DO NOT want him in her life. Why she is suddenly interested is beyond me, but it scares me to death, and I will gladly risk her being angry at me in the future to keep her safe now...
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