I used to think I had everything figured out. I moved to LA when I was 20 and I didn’t have a plan. I had a little bit of money saved and I gave no fucks. I was hurt. I had just gotten out of an extremely long, toxic, unhealthy relationship.. only to rebound to a man who would take complete advantage of that, of me, and then kick me to the curb. He used me. I let him. I became consumed with guilt for the way I ended things with my ex, followed by regret for the decisions.. or mistakes.. I made while trying to find a way to deal with the mess that had become my life.
So I did the only rational thing I could do in that situation: I moved to Los Angeles.
At 20 years old, I finally found myself at a point in my life where I had absolutely nothing left holding me down in this hometown of mine. I always knew I’d move away, but never imagined the circumstances that would actually lead me to it. I was working almost everyday at the job I had, making pretty good money too. I was enrolled full-time at my local community college, and I thought I was on top of the world. I figured that I could drop out of school this semester and focus on progressing at work (shocker: no) since I had everything “figured out.” Besides, don’t you go to school to get a good paying job anyway? I had that, so like, I can take a break! I’m TwEnTyyYyy!@$!
Then I dropped out of school.
Not even a full month later I ended up losing my “good job” after a nightmarish experience with the rebound man. This good job, which I dropped out of school for, was no longer a reality. But the reality was I had bills to pay and this would significantly affect my life. As a matter of fact, that day my entire life flipped, spun, twirled, shifted and did a whole 180 right before my eyes. I wanted to cry, but I was kinda numb. I was almost in a state of shock when I came home to my apartment, realizing I could lose everything I’d built in the last couple years. I sat there for a while while my thoughts raced. But I just ended up doing a lot of cocaine.
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