my quill is at the cleaners in ~ you would have to be half mad to dream me up ~

his father died at the end of february in his own home the way he wanted. his mother was asleep a couple feet away in a chair when it happened. she had only been asleep for three hours. i feel terrible that she wasn't awake. i would have wanted to be awake if i were her.

so she called us all as soon as she woke up, around 6am and said "i think he died in his sleep". we went over immediately and yeah. he was sitting up in his bed with his eyes open. so we waited until everyone (immediate family) got there and could say their goodbyes to him. we didn't move him. he looked like he was watching television for real.

a few hours later, we called the funeral home to tell them we were ready for him to be taken away. the nurse was there before them and filled out the forms. it was hard to watch them put him on the gurney and bag him. he was still sitting up.

it was a good day. everyone there and chatting as if he were silently part of our gathering. a sad good day.

he took some of his father's pills home that day. so he has started taking pills again. a few times now. a smaller dosage than what he used to take, but still. he hadn't taken any at all since around last august. he went through hell to stop too.

i think he will fall back in.