Last night I made 2 recipes from FOK. the zucchini banana walnut muffins and the ranch dressing. i don’t have high hopes for either. i have cashews soaking to make coffee creamer, they weren’t ready yet so this morning i’m doing black coffee. it’s strong af. can’t believe I used to drink this stuff!!
I have a number of food stuffs ready to go.. i’m really trying to not falter this time. although drinking my coffee here and not even having eaten one morsal yet.. I feel like i’m going to fail. like it’s impossible. i already feel lost and like i don’t know what to have. without my old standby’s.. what do i have? it’s the little things. i can’t butter my dry ass yet mushy muffin. my coffee is black. no cheese. fml.
but i’m trying. really going to try hard this time. i know this week won’t be perfect… I’m predicting a fall on friday around supper.. we’ll be going to visit a family member and i can’t make a fuss there. and saturday i think we’ll be going into the city with my parents so might falter there as well, but if I try hard i might falter only a little bit. like maybe i can find a nice salad to have but i’ll have non compliant dressing on it. i’ll try. and friday i’ll stay compliant all day other then when we’re out visiting.
even in FOK they talk about not being perfect. it’s life. it’s like saying you’re on a diet but never having a brownie again. well yeah you will.. it’ll just be minimal and rare. so i’m not too worried about it. my first week.. i’m just trying to get though it as painlessly as possible. and learn some new things, some new recipes. see what I need to eat to make it.
upon learning of our outings this weekend i almost put it off until Monday.. but no. that’d be crazy. put it off 5 days just bc of that… no. this is how i used to be… put it off, put it off. no more of that. i’ll just do my best. i expect perfection or I feel like I’ve failed. i also need to work on that.
this is gonna be hard af y’all.
start weight… a shameful 230.6
apparently I lost 3 lbs in the last 3 days.. not sure how as i’ve been lazy af. must have been water weight.
onward.
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