The Oscars in Thoughts On...

  • March 3, 2014, 1:13 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

One, Ellen was the single Tina & Amy. She was awesome. I can’t decide if the selfie or the pizza was my favorite moment. It is hard to decide really. So much fun.

Second, I want to be Jennifer Lawrence’s best friend. I cannot believe how my I adore her. I don’t think I have ever adored an actress before. She is just the best & she looked like she was relaxed & having fun. I wanted her to win just because I love her so much and because she is an amazing actress, but I am okay with Lupita Nyong’o winning. She is adorable and her fashion sense is spot on.

Third, so happy Matthew McConaughey & Jared Leto won. I appreciated their speeches so much. I don’t much care for Cate Blanchett, I have never really liked her. I will just leave it at that.

Fourth, the dresses (for the record, I never really judge the men unless they dare to stray away from a black tux). • Angelina Jolie – meh – it looks so old. Maybe if Meryl Streep had worn it. • Lupita Nyong’o – gorgeous. That dress with her skin perfection. • Jennifer Lawrence – Goddess. Simply stunning. • Sandra Bullock – a winner. I love the dark navy. Simple jewelry. • Amy Adams – another navy beauty. I think she needed a necklace though and different earrings • Cate Blanchett – miss. Not because I don’t like her, but because I don’t like nude colored dresses overall, especially on pale white women. • Kate Hudson – I am mixed. I like the overall dress, but I don’t know if that shoulder caplet thing is attached… • Olivia Wilde – Beautifully dressed baby bump. Very chic • Kerry Washington – gorgeous color, but it looks like a bed sheet held on with a bobby pin • Charlize Theron – miss. Are there straps? It looks strapless but then if you look close, it looks like there are nude straps. Bedazzle those things! • Anne Hathaway – I love her dress. She looks really good • Julia Roberts – I want that dress. I love it so very much. Of course I need her body to pull it off. • Naomi Watts – was she renewing her vows? Dress is beautiful, but awfully bridal. And her hair looks like shit • Jennifer Garnder – Amazing metallic. I really like the flapper-esque feel. • Jessica Biel – It’s not terrible, but she needs color. She is so pale that the shimmer is really downplayed • Lady Gaga – She sort of looks like a wax figure. She also looks like she can’t breathe. Thumbs down • Kristin Chenoweth – I really want to like this, but she looks like she went through an embossing machine and also that she can’t breathe or bend in that dress • Liza Minnelli – I like her hair. And that is really all I can say about that. • Will & Jada – Her dress is really pretty, but there is something wrong with her boobs, they look like molded cups. Will looks stylish. I like that he went with a sort of relaxed ascot. • Emma Watson – Did she get extensions? And did the wetness mess them up? Also, I don’t really like her dress. • Camilla Alves – she rocked that dress. That said, I hate long sleeves. • Penelope Cruz – I would like her dress as well. Also, I don’t really like pink, but this was gorgeous. • Pink – her ruby red performance dress was classic • Whoopi Goldberg – sweat lord what the hell happened. Did someone say she needed a dress so she took a hi-low maxi skirt and pulled it up over her boobs? And then they said she needed some jewelry so they gave her some Chicago cast off costume necklace? Also is she wearing football padding or is that natural? No offense, I am a thicker person, but damn that is all sorts of fucked up • Idina Menzel – her dress is boring but she gets respect for John Travolta totally fucking up her name. Also, could they have cast anyone better than her as Rachel Berry’s mom on Glee? The answer is NO! • Meryl Streep – Looks like she doesn’t give a fuck. • Anna Kendrick is another one of those actresses I really like, but her fashion sense is a bit off • Sally Hawkins – I have zero clue who she is and she has zero fashion sense • Elsa Pataky – Who told her that looked good? It doesn’t even look like a baby bump, it looks like she is smuggling in a big bouncy ball. • Portia DeRossi – Ellen done good. She looks gorgeous


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