A new book for a new chapter in A little left of normal

So. In the last year I got engaged to a wonderful man, then married, and had our first child, and turned 35. Busy fucking year. And yet the best one in my life so far.

Seriously, we had the cutest baby I’ve ever seen. She must take after her father.

We decided with all the anti-vaxxer bullshit and the crazy hot car deaths that I would stay home with our little peanut for one year. So this journal will be a dedication of that year.

I’m starting off a little late- she just turned 3 months old. And to be real with you I think it’s probably for the best that we start there, because the first 3 months are rough stuff. Well, they’re rough for me. For those mother earth, I-love-babies, everything is connected, family oriented mamas I bet it was amazing. Not so much for me.

We were blessed with… a perfect child. Sometimes entire days will go by without her crying a single time. She eats well, she sleeps well. I’ve gotten 8 hours of sleep a night for… at least the last month.

But I’ve now gone from a successful career as an engineer making over 100k/year, to… not.

So. Here I am. At home. Just her and I. …ticking down the minutes until my beloved husband gets home because it’s 90 degrees outside, which is way too hot for more than 10 minutes with a 3 month old.

And to those people who are like ‘oh there’s so much more you could do with your time’.... um.... well. Dig into a heaping bowl of go-fuck-yourself because there are no Mom groups around me. They’re all breastfeeding groups, and since I can produce no breastmilk, we can’t really attend now can we? I had one mom tell me I should take her to swim class.

You know, the ones that don’t fucking exist in my town. Those ones.

Oh, and Breast is Best can go fuck itself too. Lots of fucks to go around, so I’ll start handing them out right now. You know what you get when you have a c-section and produce a grand total of 0.5oz/day of breastmilk for a baby that needs 24oz of breastmilk a day?

A formula fed baby.

So to my friend Bobby last night grilling me on why I’m not breastfeeding and what I’m pumping… I’m pumping a great big pile of go-fuck-yourself. What are you pumping for your baby, Bobby?

Everyone is pretty shocked I’m taking a year off of work. Because I’ve taken… no years off from work since I was… 18? I got laid off once in 2009 due to the recession. I was finally going to sit back and relax.

That shit lasted 9 days. I didn’t need the money. I couldn’t stay at home longer than 9 days.

This.... is going to be rough I think. Here we go!