flash friday 2-28-14 Suck it, lizard man in Flash Friday

“So what do you do?”

“Buy me a drink. Ask me my sign.”

“Ok, what’re you drinking? What’s your sign?”

“Jack and coke and fuck you.”

I smiled. It was a nervous smile. An ex-girlfriend once told me my nervous smile was charming. I was prone to believe her. When I see a nervous smile I always think someone is showing me their teeth on purpose. I almost told this woman how bad I was at this. Seemed redundant. I ordered her a jack and coke.

“So what do you do?”

She looked at me, hard, the kind of look that shows its teeth.

“I’m not very good at this.” It just came out.

“I make words black.” Another sip, another toothy look.

“You write for a Goth band?”

Nothing.

“The national enquirer?”

Nothing .

“ The ---“

“I redact documents for an organization that would prefer to remain anonymous.”

If she had been my ex, I mean the one ex, there were enough to extend the alphabet song for a few more verses, she would have found me charming as hell. All the teeth in my nervous grin were sweating.

“Want to have sex with me?” I said. Yeah, I was trying to be funny, but I also had nothing to lose.

“Will it shut you up?”

Redacting, not just a job it’s a lifestyle.

“Probably.”

She smiled.