18 months old: A letter to my boy in 2014

It’s hard to believe a year and half has already flown by since I first saw your screaming little red face and snuggled your little tiny self in the hospital. You’ve grown so much, physically and mentally; and your personality has started taking some very firm roots.

Physically, it appears you're going to take after papa. You're in the 84th percentile for height, where you've been since around the age of 4 months. You're in the 56th percentile for weight, but you've have a nice, round adorable belly that always makes me smile. You have long legs, long fingers and long eyelashes. Your eyes are a lovely shade of chocolate brown and you have a cute little dimple when you smile super big. Almost all of your teeth are in - we're just waiting on your two-year molars. You also still have the faintest hint of that darn umbilical hernia that may require surgery if it's still there in 6 months - so hopefully it will close up on its own.

You've been walking for just about 6 months; but you're also climbing, running, jumping and learning a whole bunch of new motor skills every day. You enjoy playing with legos at a level that seems really advanced, but your 'coloring' skills could use a bit more fine tuning. You also enjoy things with wheels, and can often be found circling the housing on your 'scuttlebug' tryke or playing with fire trucks and trains.

We are starting to think about weaning you from your evening and morning nursing sessions that I haven't yet been able to drop. I think you're more attached than I am at this point, which could get a bit tricky when I'm officially ready to be done.

You love to laugh, you find it entertaining to make us laugh as well, so we spend a good amount of time trying to figure out new ways to inspire your adorable, hearty laugh and are often rewarded with our own personal comedy show.

You’re starting to string together words now – things like “Mama, no!” or “Whaddida” (which we’ve translated to “what is that?”). It’s mind-boggling to realize that you are actually communicating on this level - because it’s so clear once we’ve figured it out, but it’s so strange to have you ask for things by name, and so awesome to realize how much you truly comprehend.

The other day, you said something to papa and I multiple times. “Chu-ku?” We asked, “choo-choo?” But you shook your head, no. Were you saying “doo-doo?” did you go to the bathroom in your diaper? But again, no. You were pointing outside, towards the grill, where papa was cooking up dinner. Suddenly, it hit me. CHICKEN!? You shook your head yes and got so excited. Once we realized that you were not only able to say chicken, but that you were also excited to eat it, it was a moment carved in stone. Papa and I were so impressed and delighted.

You’re a very determined little guy, and you have some very strong preferences. You love riding on the bike, going to the park, playing outside, riding on your ‘scuttlebug,’ throwing the ball, ‘cleaning’ the house, playing with legos, watching trains and dancing.

You’ve been picking out your outfits, meals and playtime activities more and more lately – you truly have an independent streak, but you also still have a desire to be held and ‘babied’ a bit, which can be quite nice at times. You do want to do more on your own lately – you try to put on your shoes, pants and backpack, and you enjoy ‘helping’ put lotion on your belly or cleaning off your face with a washcloth. You’re getting better at actually brushing your teeth rather than just sucking all the toothpaste off of the brush. You're also pretty skilled at using the fork, but your patience only lasts so long and you're back to filling your cheeks like a chipmunk.

You're currently obssessed with papa's grilled chicken, veggie puffs, scrambled eggs, coconut milk, strawberries, teddy grahams, 'mamma chia' squeeze snacks, trader joe's applesauce crushers, annie's organic bunny fruit snacks (OB-SESSED), gluten-free BBQ chicken pizza, annie's macaroni & cheese and we think your new favorite might be almond butter + raspberry preserve sandwiches.

You struggle when you don’t get your way – you feel very passionate about what you want, and don’t understand why you can’t always get it when you want it. You’re learning to be patient, but it doesn’t come easy for you. I think you get this from me. Sorry about that!

Your tantrums can be truly epic at times, and I worry that you might hurt yourself. But you always survive, and there’s usually a nice snuggle session at the end of the tornado.

You’re very sweet when you want to be, and there’s nothing better than a Joaquin-shower of kisses and giant ‘squeezes.’ It’s heart-warming when I have an “ouch” and you lean in to give it a kiss to make me feel better.

You’re well-liked everywhere you go – you have your favorites at the gym and school, and you in turn are a favorite of theirs. But you are also good at socializing with a variety of ages and ‘types’ and particularly enjoy having a ‘big kid’ show you the ropes.

Every now and again, you take a long pause and look me right in the eyes and deep into my soul, and for that moment, there is nothing else. I am the happiest person on the planet because you came into my life and you give me such a different purpose on this earth.

You make me want to be a better person in this world – less judgmental, more calm, more patient, more open-minded, more sympathetic, more aware, less selfish, more mindful, less stressed, more present, more loving. I see me reflected in you and I want so much for you that I didn’t have, but yet I want you to be a person that can have an open mind; unselfish and unspoiled.

I want more time with you, to just ‘be’ and to not think about all the stuff that adults have to think about. I want to see the world through your eyes more often, because it reminds me of what’s most important in life.

I want to be so present in these moments, because so much of who you will grow up to be is being shaped every single day, and I want to remember it all, so when you’re older I can tell you fabulous stories about your childhood and how much joy you brought us.

You are 18 months old, one year and 6 months ago you changed our lives forever. And now that you’re here, I can’t imagine life without you. You’re my little heart, and I love you so much. Love, Momma