What a rough week... in Feelings man...

Man, last week was hard. It was on of the most difficult weeks of consecutive heartaches that I have worked my way through.
So I have finally come to terms with my addiction, to start off the story. I am now a heroin addict. The physical side of the addiction has manifested its self this week in the form of pretty terrible withdrawals when I was out of dope. I developed an extremely short fuse with people and would blow up on someone at the dope of a hat (if that is a real saying. Idk sounded good in my head so we continue on) If you know me personally, you know this is way outside of my character. I am a very laid back, easy going guy. I try and keep the peace with everyone I come in contact with. I do not start fights or arguments. I actually avoid them at all costs. It is not only a waste of my time and non-productive, but I also try and keep in mind that I do not know what someone is going through in their life. You never know the struggle another individual is experiencing in their own life and by fighting with them over something stupid may be a tipping point for some people. Who knows what a person living in a state of constant self torture may do all because you yelled at them over something stupid.
Well, I failed at living by that virtue this week. All week at work, when someone would say something i found to be annoying or stupid, I just blew up on them, not necessarily in an egregious fit of rage, but mostly by belittling their actions or statements and talking down to people. The “I went to private christian school” stuck up, arrogant, little bitch in me defiantly came out this week.
I was really going to try and drop the dope this week since I start my new position at my company tomorrow. It is a top level leadership role outside of upper management and I do no need to be responsible for the things I will now be responsible for (talking about fifty to three hundred million dollar cargo aircraft here) while actively under the influence of or withdrawing from heroin. That worked for about a day… then I started right back up again. So that sucks. I think the worst part is finally facing the reality that I really am addicted to heroin. It is no longer ” I will just do it on the weekends ” or “I will just do it off and on when I feel like it”. Nah, this shit has me now. But I know I can quit, it will just be one week of hell. Hopefully with me staying active and healthy to help expedite the process.
So that is part one of my rough week.
Part two: Me and the girl I was ( and just being totally honest but still am) in love with are no longer speaking. Man that was hard. I was the one who finally ended the relationship.