So, while borderlands is updating and taking forever, I shall use this time to vent about work, relationship and other bullshit.
This morning (my morning is around 2-3pm because I work the graveyard shift from 6pm to 6am, so when I say "morning", that is what I'm referring to) I woke up to The Boy just coming home and the sound of keys and such. I woke myself up, got myself out of bed, and sauntered all sleepy-eyed into the living room where I plopped myself down on the couch and turned on the x-box (which he graciously returned from Face's house so that I could play video games -should the urge strike- for the hour a day I get to play). The Boy then tells me that I "probably shouldn't do that" and in my grumpy, depo-shot induced hormonal morning outrage, I immediately grew even more moody, grumpy and irritated. In my mind I'm wondering why the hell it's been so difficult for me to enjoy the little time I get to enjoy on the x-box lately. It's either not here, or he's using it, and this is not a huge issue, warranting the bitch-fit that I let loose on the poor boy the past week or so, but the depo has definitely been affecting my mood lately and this is exhibit-A. I would probably just be slightly irritated, but I would end up occupying myself online or with a book or anything really. Mostly I'm just glad The Boy has stuck around this long. Hitting the 5 month mark next week... it feels like kind of a big thing because HE IS SO AWESOME -xbox issues aside lol- and quite possibly the best thing to happen to me in a looooong, long time. So when little things begin to bug me, like; dirty dishes, messy house, hair in the bathroom, the x-box shit- I've been willing -and more importantly able- to let it slide, because otherwise, he is amazing to me. He is genuine, he is down to Earth, he's intelligent, funny, damn-good-looking, and overly generous with the gift-giving, which I am all too happy to get used to. But this morning, I just wanted to brood and be pissy and I threw quite the little guilt trip on him.
Well so it goes, he had bought me my OWN x-box, a brand-new one, a slim-mini 360 that "will always be in your possession" which I was so blinded by my hormonal-mood that I didn't recognize the awesomeness of, till he left. I just wanted to play the damn game, I felt justifiably pissed off that I couldn't just wake up, sit down and play my games for just a little bit before I officially have to get ready for work and then leave again. I think this bothers me more now, besides the depo, because he and MM both quit working to do this cab thing, and I'm still pretty butthurt about that. But regardless, after he left, I sat there and realized how spoiled rotten I was acting. He went out and spent what was probably the majority of his really small, last paycheck on ME, and got me a pretty nice little surprise and all I could do was be mad at him that I couldn't play my games on it right away (he had to download my gamer info)! What is my problem??? I was instantly embarrassed by my own behavior, and texted him an apology, which he took graciously. I would not have been as nice as he was... had I gotten him something nice and he behaved the way I did... totally inexcusable... I would have let myself have it, but-good. "Seriously, you should be thanking me! This is a MUCH nicer one than the one you had and I didn't have to get it at all, I had like nothing of my last paycheck because I was sick the whole week, and what I did get I spent on YOU. WTF babe, NOT cool!!"
---Is what I would have told ME, if I were him.
But he said it was ok (it's not ok, I'm still not sure how I'm going to make it up to him... blow job? Probably). He forgave me, he reminded me that I'm awesome and he thinks sometimes I just forget. I told him the depo was really fucking with me this month, I think the side effects are just starting to hit me, honestly, and he said I just need to try to be a little happier.
I do NOT want to ruin this relationship, and push him away, but making drama where there doesn't need to be drama. I was in so many irrational, non-communicative, unhealthy relationships, that I almost have to* relearn* how to communicate with a healthy, normal person...
And he is being, oh-so understanding, and forgiving. And I absolutely adore him for that.
My ex-box is set-up, he got the flash drive, he downloaded everything. I'm going to sit here, play some Borderlands 2 and smoke a bowl before I take a quick shower and then wake him up with a ---- smile ;)
In other news, it's frozen outside, work dragged-ass today, but I got out at 5 and the product ran really well. Good for having an easy day. Bad because it took forever not having to monitor everything constantly, and just.... tidying him and watching it be... well, good product. Meh.
Work is becoming monotonous now, after a year and a half of working there. I would look for other work if I knew I'd make more money anywhere else. That and our benefits kick some medical, dental and vision ASS. And I really need to use all of those. And it's really nice making enough money to support myself comfortably for the first time EVER, in my adult life. Does 29 qualify as adult? When do you stop being a young woman, and officially become an adult.... it's 30 isn't it? It WOULD be 30...
Some days waking up is just HARD. Other days... when The Boy wakes me up with the consistently amaaaazing sex we have, all the time, fucking always... it's hard not to smile and roll over like you're in a patch of wild flowers in the morning. I hop out of bed like a fucking jack-rabbit on crack lol. Mmmm, yes on top of all his amazing qualities, that boy is ...gifted. So much awesome goin on down there. I swear I am NEVER letting this one go.
Hah. He may not know it yet, but one day, I am going to marry that boy.
Loading comments...