New week, old weekend in Happy trails from DE

Well, I did it folks.

On national donut day I scored TWO free donuts, thank you very much, so suck it twice dunkin donuts.

I’m also proud to report I didnt have to do too much sucking up to the ol’ boss today because he was feeling particularly horny. Just typing that out made me vomit a little but I’ve accepted my place in this shitty kitchen. 

Lucky for me I actually did get sick this weekend (thanks to baby bear for starting daycare last week and infecting us all with his cooties) so I didnt have to pretend.

This morning roughly 6am:
Boss: stares at me from across the kitchen
Me: ok, don’t start I’m actually sick
Boss: walks over what happened, not enough nooky? 
Me: blatantly ignoring his comment as I set myself up for disaster. I vaguely motion around my face. All I can say is: head
Boss: yeah I wish I got a little head last night too
Me: starts coughing loudly head cold
Boss: hey, you ever really, really horny for no reason? I gotta go sit down in my office. Knock once if you want to come in 

Fuck me, amiright? Bloody hell, stupid old bastard.

Anyway.

This weekend went by as expected. I was off from work, mama bean went to see her dad, we ordered Chinese and watched the new black mirror and old impractical jokers.

Last week my younger sister was admitted to the hospital after experiencing flu like symptoms. Turns out she had colitis, a blood infection, and salmonella poisoning all at once.
Saturday she was released and upon coming home she smoked a bunch of weed and started hyperventilating. 
First she came into the house and said she felt faint so I told her what they told me to do when I was in the mental hospital ..  lay on your back while I get you oj to drink. Honestly, I’m terrible help when it comes to these things.
Eventually she sat up and started complaining of chest pains and problems breathing and managed to choke out she needed an ambulance.
So here we are, sitting on the dining room floor, my sister refusing to let me let go of her hand, bag of frozen shrimp on her head, waiting for the ambulance.
The fire department came first and hooked her up to oxygen and a few minutes later EMS came and strapped her in… back to the hospital you go.
Some time later she finally gets home…
Diagnosis? Hyperventilation due to marijuana abuse. Leave it to my sister to be the only person in recorded history to od on weed.

Anyway, due to the fact my sister is an asshole, we ended up missing pride in the park. This actually turned out to be a good thing.

Now before you go clutching your pearls and throwing glitter in my face let me state I’m very pro love. Love is love, love who you want to love. We have a huge percentage of the gays in my family and we dont discriminate. I teach my kids these same principals: we are all equal. My kids know uncle a is a boy and hes married to another boy. It’s a simple concept that children understand. Hate is taught. 

Pride in the park is an all inclusive family day celebrating pride month. Everything is rainbows, they have face painting, balloons, bounce houses, drag queen story time, music… it’s just a really nice time. Plus this year my cousin who just started drag was performing so I wanted to support him.

But this year there was a huge outpouring of pet play and I dont understand why that’s ok for a family event. I really believe the LGBTQrstuv community has nothing to do with whatever the fuck your kink is.

And listen, pet play is a subdivision of my kink, so I understand. But keep that shit in the bedroom for William h. Macy sake.
How do I explain to my kids why this grown man has a dog hood, collar, and leash on while hes being walked around the park listening to commands. That’s some fetish shit, that has nothing to do with why we’re here. Its promoted as a family event, this isn’t a BDSM dungeon. Am I wrong? Change my mind. 

Besides that, everything is everything.

Oh, remember the Bateman nightmare I said I had? Not to be upstaged, I had a nightmare the following night of my ex husband coming back to kidnap me. Wtf is wrong with me? I need a dream interpreter…

On the plus side? Watched a video of Jason mamoa before bed last night and it made up for everything else 😎 finally a night of pleasant dreams. 

Well break time is over, looks like i haven’t been sexually harassed in oh 30 minutes so I’m overdue 

Mood: head cold-y
Music: cafe tv