I like that there are cherry blossom trees on my street, they are constantly changing from white flowers to pink ones to red leaves to green ones. Right now they are red, angry and rich against the blue sky. I see them every day on my way to and from my apartment. I always think about picking up one of the leaves and saving it but I never do it. (I thought the same thing about picking a cherry off the tree and tasting it but then the thought grossed me out.) There is also a dirty towel hanging far up the tree that someone had thrown up there before we moved into this building and it's still there. I wonder if the tree is growing around it, weaving the cloth into the bark.
Stefan (my partner) can't help enjoying people's attention. He's a cute guy, friendly and outgoing. He's one of those people that touches your arm and looks directly at you when he's talking to you, even if he just met you. I like that about him and I don't want him to change. Even so, once in a while something will happen that gets under my skin.
So there's this guy Zach, who's probably Stefan's best friend here. They both have sort of similar personalities. There was that moment when Zach called him a bitch and Stefan playfully slapped him on the face. I didn't like that, it felt flirtatious to me. Then again, I have very well defined lines with my friends and I realize I am extremely rigid about staying within them. He is not me and I accept that. Still, I got mad. I was quiet and withdrawn and barely talked to him on the cab ride home. I do not hide being upset very well. He knew I was upset and I heard him say in the tiniest voice that he didn't mean anything by it and that he was sorry. He sounded so small and sad but I was still mad. "It didn't mean anything..." he kept repeating, I could see him start to cry. "Don't cry, I'm upset now but I'll be ok. We'll talk about it when we get home." Why I care about crying in public, I have no idea, it's not like I really care what the world thinks of me when I'm angry. It's not only that but I just didn't want to see him hurt, as upset as I was, it hurt me to hear that voice and to see his face. He looked completely deflated.
Then there was that night at the Bar where some older man, wearing stylish clear framed glasses, was aggressively trying to pick Stefan up knowing that we were together. He made ridiculous statements like "my glasses were custom made in Holland and I paid 3,000 for them" and "I'd love to drink champagne with you, I bet you look good naked." Stef didn't know what to do so he just said things like "I don't think my PARTNER would like that." or "I don't want champagne, I have already have a beer." Then the old man laughed, and then I mocked his laugh, loudly, obnoxiously, staring straight at him. He handed Stef his business card as he left. I was pissed, but it was stupid of me to let it get to me. I don't know why I got so upset because he was really no threat. Stefan casually put the card under the bar mat before we left.
I am pretty sure the trees are turning green next. They've been red for a month or two and I have a feeling they're about to change. I don't think that towel will ever fall out of the tree.
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