Well, people from my history anyway.
Way back when, I was what you’d call a friend of convenience to 2 cheerleader sisters and a couple of their very popular girlfriends. I say that because I’ve not heard from them since they got their own cars. It’s not something I’d allow myself to fall victim to now, but when I was younger and naive and wanting to be liked by girls, I didn’t really notice that I was being kept on standby so they’d have someone to call at oh-fuck-thirty in the morning to bail them out of whatever situation they didn’t want to be in. As per my usual privacy paranoia, I’ll just say the main two were EI and her younger sister OI.... Christ, let’s “Old MacDonald” this shit. LOL
Anywho, today I was driving back to the shop from my last job, and a girl crossed the street in front of me (in the crosswalk with the light - unlike most dumbasses around here.) who looked EXACTLY like OI. Okay, not exactly. She had bigger boobs than OI. (You’re calling me a shallow superficial swine now, but wait till I post what I look for in a girl! I’m an equal opportunity offender! LOL) But other than that she looked EXACTLY like OI.
Now I haven’t thought about OI in a few years until yesterday, while I was mowing the yard. Not even sure why I thought about her yesterday, but I find it funny that I had the thought yesterday, and seen this girl today. I had to take a minute and do a double take to see if I was really seeing OI’s doppelganger or not. So now I’m kinda missing OI. Yeah, another girl I never have and never will have any chance with, and even when I move back home will likely never see again, is now clouding my thoughts. I’m too much of a sap for my own good.
This is kinda sending me into that internal conversation of do I want to try and meet someone now and deal with relationship status closer to when I move, or do I keep avoiding people and wait till I get home to try and meet someone. I won’t deny for a moment that I am very definitely lonely. I so badly miss having someone to snuggle up with. I miss lots and lots of hugs. I miss random kisses. As I’ve said before, I’m not worried about anything past that because to be honest, I don’t remember it. But just having someone in close proximity who actually gives a shit about me would be REALLY nice right now.
I’m also noticing that I’m substantially more cranky in the mornings. My mind is still telling me to go back to bed until about 10:30 or 11:00. I’m functional, and I can move in a timely fashion, I just don’t want to be talked to or be around people - I’m a garage door tech, people are mostly unavoidable - until I’ve gotten my brain more awake. I had a half joking argument with the office manager this morning over something completely bullshit. It could just be because I’m trying to quit smoking and the lack of nicotine is screwing with me, but nonetheless, I still consider it an issue.
I need to go finish mowing the yard and get to the grocery store. I’m tired of being out of stuff, and I’m tired of looking at my yard trying to be a damn forest. The grass in the lower part was tall enough I could crouch down in it and hide. Shit, I should have used that to scare the neighbor at least once. Oh well. Alright, I’ve finished my soda, better get to yard work.
EDIT: So I wrote this at 6pm, it’s almost 10pm. I didn’t get the yard done… didn’t even touch it. But I did at least make it to the grocery store. Now it’s time to get ready for bed. Work and such.
Last updated June 03, 2019