Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer in General Randomness

Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair by Pablo Neruda is one of my favorites and is just so true for me. So the beginning of last year I fell in love. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I was willing to get out of my comfort zone for her. I went out and did stuff just to be near her. I never do that. But anytime our group would go out and play games (or sports) I almost always got hurt, I guess from trying to hard to be someone she would like. (Oh, and don't start with the whole "If she doesn't like you for you then you don't need her" because I don't like me for me. I need the change and since I can't seen to do it for myself I might as well do it for a girl) Well, she broke my heart. Not intentionally but it still hurt. This was months ago. But for some reason I still have this idea in my head that I could one day be with her. So when our friends set up an obstacle course last night at church I played as hard as I used to just because she was there. And I skinned my elbow right nice in the process. I told myself I wouldn't hurt myself anymore for her but that isn't working. Maybe one day I'll be free of her...or else she will let me wrap her in my arms and hold her forever.