Killing me softly ... in My Unpredictable Life ...

• Why must people insist on calling when I am sleeping? Especially when they know I work night shift? And then they want to get mad when I don't answer the phone? At least I was nice enough to return their call when I gave up trying to get back to sleep.

My mother will be the death of me yet. But in fairness, it is not just her that does this. I normally turn my phone to vibrate when I am sleeping because people insist on ringing, dinging and pinging my phone. But during the week, I leave it on and I even bring the house phone into my bedroom just in case the school calls/my daughter calls from school. Since we have no emergency contact, Hubby and I are the only contacts. Since his supervisor is a goose head, it is just easier for me to be inconvenienced. And what was the point of putting our phone numbers on the Do Not Call Registry if we are still getting stupid phone calls?

• Why does a doctor's office wait till 18 minutes before a scheduled appointment to call your house phone to tell you your appointment has been changed? Especially when you are sitting in their waiting area, already checked in for your scheduled appointment?

Had 2 doctor's appointments yesterday. An ultrasound at 9am and then the doctor at 10am. When Hubby was active duty and we went on base for our medical needs, we were required to check in for our appointments 15 minutes prior to a scheduled appointment. A twenty year habit is hard to break. So there I am, checking in 20 minutes early. I get called back only to be informed, "Mrs. Sassy, our ultrasound tech went into labor. Our only other tech is a male and we do not allow him to do vaginal ultrasounds so we rescheduled your appointment at the hospital for 2pm today."

sigh

I just looked at her. So then I say, "So, I have to sit around now till 10 for my doctor appointment, then be at the hospital at 2 and then pick my child up from school at 3. I got off work at 7 am this morning after working all night and I am supposed to sleep when now?"

"Oh. Okay, well I can call the hospital back but she said that 2pm was the earliest one they had for today. How about tomorrow?"

"I won't have a car tomorrow so it will have to be on Thursday and it can be no later than 1pm because I have to be to work at 3pm." I reply.

So she has me sit in a chair. She comes back and informs me, "Ok, we got your appointment rescheduled again for Thursday at 1pm. Dr. So-n-so said she wants to see you after the ultrasound so you can stop at the front desk and reschedule her appointment for Thursday afternoon or Friday. That way you can now go home and get you some rest because she said there was no point in wasting your time if you haven't had the ultrasound yet."

Let's just be clear here, Lady. My time was wasted. I could have been sound asleep at the time I was in your office had but someone called me. (Getting home to find a message on my machine that was left 18 minutes prior to my scheduled appointment time does NOT count!!!) I went through the hassle of showering, shaving, making sure all my "bits" were pretty for the doctor, even went through the hassle of using the "perfumed" lotion, and all for nothing? And then I have to do it all over again on Friday? Don't get me wrong, my "bits" are always in perfect health/condition, a doctor appointment be damned, but as any woman will tell you, we go above and beyond for our yearly appointments. And now I will have to suffer through Hubby's lame attempts at "offering to 'spit polish' my bits for me", again! Ugh!

Good thing I hadn't been fasting or else I may have went ape shit. Now I will fast on Thursday night (as originally planned) so I can do my blood work when I go in at 9:30 on Friday to see the doctor.

• Would it kill a person to answer their door bell? Especially when your door is open and we know you are home?

Took The Child around the neighborhood on Sunday afternoon to sell Girl Scout Cookies. Out of 15 homes, 2 actually answered their door and only 1 actually bought cookies. She was crushed. If you don't want to answer a door then put up a "No Soliciting" sign like we did. These life lesson's we are teaching her are going to kill me yet.

• How hard is it to NOT let a door slam closed? Especially in the wee hours of the night/morning when other guests are sound asleep? I get the whole putting the lock thingy out so that the door doesn't close all the way, but can you not take the extra couple of seconds to wait on the door to catch it before it slams against the lock thingy? Or wait so that it doesn't slam completely closed?

The footballers are going to end up getting their asses spanked by me. Act like a bunch of two year old's and I will treat you like a damn two year old! I had them trained to talk quietly/softly amongst themselves when out in the hallways and to catch their doors before they slammed when I worked the 5 night stretch last week. They have practice from 7pm till 10pm so when they start rolling back in between 10:30 till midnight, if they aren't completely exhausted, they are coming off an adrenaline high and it takes them a while to simmer down. No big deal. It's not their fault that they have practice so late at night.

But I finally got it through their thick skulls that hey! your rooms are for free! You don't get the same privilege's our paying guests get, not that we would let them behave like 2 year old's, disrupting other guests either. But still, you have to work with us if you want to continue to get your $120 per night room for free. So, as I said, they were being on their best behavior.

By Saturday night, all my hard work had went out the window. In fact, 2 of them ended up being kicked off the team on Sunday morning after ALL the coaches were called in to have a meeting with Bill, the owner.

Joleen had even told Bill that had I been working night shift that night, nothing would have been started, much less been allowed to escalate in the manner that it did, because Jimena "didn't hear them".

I spent Sunday and Monday night, trying to get them back into "my rules/proper hotel etiquette". I left out of there Tuesday morning telling Joleen that I would come back by after my 10am doctor appointment and spend about half an hour going up and down the hallways opening and slamming doors next to their rooms so that they could get a feel for what it was like. They want to stay up till dawn slamming doors, then fine, you can get a taste of your own medicine. In the end, Joleen told me I better not come back before 3pm today lol.

Our town has a couple thousand Somalian immigrants. The children are required to go to school thus creating the need for interpreters in some of the elementary schools. Bill's son, Brock, has a fiancé that teaches 2nd grade. She has a few of these children in her classroom, complete with an interpreter. In the beginning of the year, she was using the animal "goose" for the letter "G". Every time she'd use "goose" those children would start laughing. She finally asked the interpreter why. Come to find out, in Somalia, "goose" means "dick" and that is why the kids would start giggling. So she changed the animal to "giraffe" LOL. I started calling Hubby goose head over the weekend after he cheated me out of my Starbucks on Saturday. He thinks I'm weird that I would choose something so mild versus the usual "Ass" I call him. Maybe one day I will tell him. Or not. And maybe it is just me but why in the hell does a 2nd grader know what a "dick" is? I mean, I get the whole penis/vagina issue that we teach children. But what parent uses "dick" for children that young? Call me old fashioned or whathaveyou, but damn. And even though my daughter is aware that the correct names are penis/vagina, we still refer to them as "bits". She knows the difference between boy "bits" and girl "bits". Despite all of the petty annoyances I had yesterday, complete with only 4 hours total of sleep (till 11pm last night), I still managed to have a good day. Mainly because of this status on Facebook that I titled "Oh so happy!"

Well, guess I will go get some cleaning done before work. Hubby's brakes are shot in his truck so it is in the shop (just what we needed financially on top of everything else). Granted it's been about 8-9 years since we last replaced them so I can't complain too much. But of course, he has my car and that means I get to walk to work this afternoon. Yippee. Any other time I would either be off work today or working night shift. But nope. Today I work 3-11. At least he will drop the car off to me at work this evening and walk himself home so that I won't have to walk at 11pm at night. All of that being said, I am thankful that I work within walking distance to my house and therefore do not need to call Tami or Joleen to come get me or ruin my perfect work record by calling out. So there is that silver lining.

Till next time ...