Saturday I had my second ultrasound to check on Vivienne. I have a doctor’s appointment on Friday at 12pm to get the results.
I’ve been a little weepy and worried, but my husband has been great. He’s been very reassuring and keeps saying “it isn’t bad news until it’s bad news”, which is oddly comforting. Hopefully everything is fine, as the doctor suspects, and we can move on and relax for the next 15 weeks.
I took the day off on Friday. It’s also my birthday and the plan was to take the day anyway so we could go see the new Captain Marvel movie (she’s my favorite superhero). So my hope is that the appointment doesn’t take too long, it’s all good news, and we can celebrate with the movie. I’m also seeing Elton John on Saturday night with my parents and they will be coming down on Friday too. Fingers crossed that this is an amazing birthday weekend as planned.
I realized I haven’t been nesting really. I started reading the Bradley method natural childbirth books I ordered and I’ve bought a few clothes for Vivienne, but i haven’t been nesting. With Freddie, by this point I was cleaning and folding clothes and taking tons of bump pictures and setting up baby seats and other things. This time around, I don’t have as much to do (we already have a crib and car seat and I’ll be getting clothes from my sister…we have all the basic baby needs already) but this whole thing has taken some of the joy out of being pregnant. I’m more worried this time around. I’m worried about her, I’m worried if Freddie will be jealous, I’m worried how I will split my time between two children, I’m worried about moving and if the house will be ready…just more worries this time around I guess. I’m getting close to the part where I’m just over being pregnant. I feel very stretched out and heavy and working full time is not helping. I’m surprisingly not as tired this pregnancy, maybe because I’m working? I don’t know. All I know is that I want everything to be ok.
I am so thankful for Dann. He’s reassuring and understands how I’m feeling. The other night, we were watching TV and I was just kind of moping. I laid my head on his chest and just started to cry. Dann held me and let me cry and let me know everything was going to be ok. He’s been my rock and been so helpful during all of this. I really want to get him something special for being so great. I don’t know what yet (he’s surprisingly hard to shop for), but I’ll think of something. He’s just so wonderful.
I cannot wait until Friday. I just want to know that she is ok.
On a really exciting note, I randomly won Elton John tickets for tomorrow night at MSG! Apparently, my grandfather entered my name into a raffle at a boat show he was working at and my name was picked! My best friend and I are going tomorrow night. It’s going to be a late night, but worth it.
later.
~mana~
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