Moving on from an ex is hard work. I once read that it takes around half the amount you were together to get over that person. I can now say that is complete bullshit. We were together for the duration of our undergraduate degree, so three blissful years, and today, after two years I feel like im no closer to getting over him.
Tonight, I met with a mutual friend and she mentioned his name. At first, I thought it would be best to just ignore that she had mentioned him. If I am honest I was a bit frustrated that she had even brought him up - surely thats a bit insensitive but then again who is still as tragic to not have moved on even after two years. Frustration aside, my curiosity got the better of me. I needed to know what was new in his life, after all, I hadn’t spoken to him in a long while! Big mistake because now my mind is wondering about things I don’t even want to think about especially if he has a new girlfriend… But do I really want to know? Is knowledge really power in this case or will knowing crush me and take me back to square one (where I seem to be in any case right now 😂).
Coming home to my apartment in the big city after this day had just made it even tougher. Now look, I am not one to be weak or negative (I left that chapter of my life behind me a long time ago) and I am so proud of that. But it is only natural that life in a big city gets a bit lonely from time to time. I know that being lonely and being alone are two different things - at the moment I am both, sadly.
It seems that „Out of sight, Out of mind“ has not worked the wonders I had hoped it would. I am hopeful that I will find a different way to move on and also to cope with being lonely. I hope that I will do so sooner rather than later.
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