Taking care of myself (some TMI) in rants

  • Feb. 16, 2014, 9:14 a.m.
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In short... I don't. Or at least, not well.

I should, now that I am not working and have few responsibilities, be pampering myself. I have NO schedule.. I can do what I want, when I want.

All I want... is to read, to play on the computer. I can EASILY not leave the house for DAYS at a time. As long as there's enough food in the house, I'm set.

I don't consider myself a hoarder - though strangers looking in might quibble with that. I am a clutterer, and it does create problems for me. I love to give things away, though, and donate at least one huge shopping bag a month to charity. (I used to buy a LOT of material for my students... and have to pass it on to the next person. Plus, I used to buy a lot of clothing. I don't need as much anymore.)

MANY years ago, since I hadn't cooked with my gas stove, the tube bringing the gas to it rotted out and leaked. Leaked to the point that the firemen had to come and turn off the gas and cap the stove. I had it removed. I hadn't been using it anyway. I now do all my cooking in the microwave and the toaster oven. It works for me as I don't cook anything too complex. This morning's breakfast, for example, was a sweet potato and a white potato.

Since my hallway is filled with so much stuff - I am clearing it out SLOWLY (but that's not an easy task either) - I cannot remove the fridge which died, oh, YEARS ago. I find that if I shop carefully, and frequently, most items do NOT need to be refrigerated. I discovered, also, that if I make my coffee (instant) with cocoa... hence mocha... I do NOT need to add milk. I do buy milk once in a while so I can have my coffee, well latte, without the cocoa.

I used to eat a LOT of processed foods - I finally shifted over to Trader Joe's brand - fewer additives and preservatives, but STILL processed. I am slowly moving away from them. I do get their Indian foods - come in a packet in a box - $2 basically - over brown rice or kasha or barley - WONDERFUL. Lately, I am eating less grain, more potatoes.

After what happened with the nuclear waste emptying out into the Pacific Ocean after the disaster in Japan, I rarely eat tuna fish. I do eat salmon - both from can and from packet. I share with the cat, of course.

Although I try to avoid cheese - eating a non-dairy version when I want mac and cheese - I still do eat yogurt - LOVE the Fage Greek yogurt (have it alone, plain, or with sliced banana and flax flakes). I try to avoid wheat also - bread very rarely, whole wheat couscous or pasta also less frequently than before. Both wheat and cheese add to bloat around the "middle", so I am trying to control the intake of both/either.

Given my druthers, I'd spend the entire day lying in bed reading. I alternate between books on paper and e-books. I have TONS of books waiting to be read, so feel like I am betraying them when I read the e-books. But the e-books are so easy - buy them for FREE, download at the library, then just DELETE when done.

I try NOT to keep books I've read. I belong to three on-line book exchange sites and have both "have" lists and "wish" lists posted. I often got weeks sending out five books each week! I do NOT receive anywhere near that number. I make sure to save whatever wrapping I receive the books in, so I can re-use it. I have manila envelopes in various sizes, just in case.

I do make sure to take my meds (I have diabetes) and my vitamin supplements. There are days, though, when just looking at the number of pills and capsules is daunting, so I try just to take the meds if nothing else. A couple of years ago, as I was on the checkout line at CVS, I realized I was getting old - looking at the supplements - metamucil, probiotics, etc, and the incontinence pads, and the other items... I've crossed the line from middle age, for sure.

You'd think, by the way I live, I have no money... or little money. It's not true. I have enough money to take care of myself...just don't. Some people live in fear. For some reason I am not sure of, I live in shame.

Be gentle.


Maybe Not Today February 16, 2014

Shame...because of what? The condition of your home? Not working currently?

Darcy0207 from OD Maybe Not Today ⋅ February 16, 2014

The condition of my home... and the fact that I will spend my time reading rather than anything else - not cooking, cleaning, etc. I am retired, so not working is WONDERFUL. Although I am on call as a substitute interpreter in the grand jury.

woman in the moon February 16, 2014

Life is full of choices. I think we feel better about our active choices than our passive ones. But both kinds are valid. The more active I am the better I feel .... but still I tend to do nothing and waste time and regret it. I guess I choose to do that.
Spring is coming and then we'll feel better.

BTW the term horder is misused I think. I thought it used to be someone who collected and saved and kept things of value from other people. Now it's about junk. And one person's trash is another's treasure. I have too many books and I can't think of parting with any of them. I keep my 'good' magazines too. I don't think we are horders - by any definition.

Darcy0207 from OD woman in the moon ⋅ February 16, 2014

thank you. I, too, feel better when I am out and about. But with all the snow and cold and ice, etc. the last thing I want to do is leave the house.

Shattered Darcy0207 from OD ⋅ February 16, 2014

That's everybody lol. :D

Deleted user February 19, 2014

my response is that i love this entry. it shows that you're aware...that you're taking your time to sort out what your priorities are, what you consider to be necessities, and acting on that. i think this entry shows lots of promise, that's the take away for me. and in lots of ways i'm in the same boat...struggling to figure out what's me and what's not me, regardless of others' opinions or feelings about it.

Darcy0207 from OD Deleted user ⋅ February 19, 2014

I'd been thinking about this for a while. I am comfortable in my life, but there's no real "happiness", definitely no "joy". I am convinced that I would be happier without ALL the stuff (some, for sure), but I have no handle on how to review it, clear it, etc. It's just not in my skill set. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

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