I'm feeling lost. So incredibly lost that I just want to cry. Not just the teary cry, but the sobbing uncontrollably cry.
I had this job. This amazing, secure job. The job, however, was killing me. I was working 50+ hours every week, my boss was a micromanager, and the stress was deteriorating my body (so much so that I had to get my appendix and gallbladder taken out, my heart went into a-fib twice, ended up in the hospital numerous times, etc.) . I got sick so often. I was away from home too much. I started doing things that weren't like me, acting like someone I wasn't. Until the day I got fired. I was so relieved that I didn't have to quit...that they did the hard part for me. I loved the job, but not all the political bullshit that came with it. I'm not an ass kisser, and I don't think I'll ever be one.
So my entire career changed. My wardrobe changed from business attire every day, to t-shirts, jeans, and tennis shoes. I went from dealing with adults, to teaching 3 year olds. And yet, I find myself in the same predicament.
I feel like I'm back in college. "What do I want to do with my life?". I don't know if I'll ever have the answer. I love my job now, but again with the political crap, it's ridiculous. My ethics and beliefs are contradicting what the higher ups want me to do and how they want me to act.
I just don't know anymore. I'm so lost.
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