Day 1. Morning to lunch break.
I wake up feeling an impending doom on my mind. Like something will end up going wrong today. Who knows what will happen?
Get ready for work, head out and get there on time. I feel always rushed even when I leave early. My heart is heavy and my mind is full.
I’m at a dead end of my job and what feels like a dead end in life as well. I can’t off myself because I don’t want to upset everyone else. But why should I keep making myself suffer? At what cost will I finally realize once I’m gone why should I care how people feel? I won’t be there to deal with it.
Sometimes I feel like I should get diagnosed for a mental disorder and be heavily medicated. Maybe then my thoughts will finally stop. I just want some silence in my brain. There’s too many thoughts for me to think straight or to even have a clear memory.
I don’t know what to do anymore…
maybe my car can get stuck on some train tracks and end my misery.
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