13 Feb 2014 in Diary

I have numerous blogs on different sites (that dont get touched/viewed/updated - but they're there) but it feels a bit different starting a new diary after having had the last one for ten years or something. Not that that one got updated regularly either... I guess I just pick up where I left off?

My flatmate Sam has become a little bit more bearable to be around. However we're still finding that old habits will die hard. Why state that the bins need to be brought in? I'd maybe understand if she bought them in all time and was saying it because she was sick of doing it, but she's done it maybe 2 or 3 times in the 6 months we've been at the house. She only just found where the bin liners are kept because she's clearly taken the bin out and changed the garbage bag. I've also realised that she has little to no repsect for other people's belongings. As if I'm not going to notice when the hair product I use daily is missing (I found it in her room a week later) or my tampons are all gone when we're the only two females who use the upstairs bathroom. Guhh, anyway... I realised that not wanting to be around her was making me snap at her or just mumble answers to avoid conversation was probably just making me turn into a negative mole so I let her in a bit again. The others have too and noticed a change - but we're all also noticing the negative ways appear again.

I'd like to say that that things with Eli have been perfect still, but they havent been. Nothing thats going to break us - just miscomunications and a breach of trust. He keeps his cards close to chest and I had no idea that some things were getting to him (not to do with our relationship). A couple of weeks ago he was going to apologise for being a shit boyfriend which confused me a little because I had no reason to believe he was being a shit boyfriend - which is when he told me that he'd been stressed at work and the fight with his brother had been eating away at him and he thought his moods had been affecting our relationship. I didnt detect that anything had been wrong and told him this because it worried me that he could potentially be pulling away from me and I wouldnt notice. However, the past week or so I have felt like he has. I finally bought it up with him last night and he just said that sometimes he needs his alone time which is fair enough. He works long hours and works them 6 days a week...

The other thing that happened was that I lent him my laptop before Christmas becuase his had gotten ruined in a storm when he left the bedroom window open. Last week (maybe the week before..?) I was at his house on my laptop downloading a few things because I still dont have the internet at my place and I was trying to find a page I thought I had bookmarked a while ago. Since firefox changed and there is no "favourites" anymore on my laptop, I was searching through the history and quickly worked out when he'd had my laptop. He had signed into his email and then clearly tried the laptop password on my Facebook which is the same and got into my Facebook. I knew it wasnt me because straight after all the opened Facebook message links were links to car sales. He noticed that I looked pissed off looking at my computer screen and asked me what was wrong so I asked him if he had fun going through my Facebook messages. He didnt say much and fell asleep pretty much straight away. It kept eating away at me and I texted him about an hour after I got to work telling him that I really didnt know how to feel about him going through my messages but that I was more upset than angry. He apologised profusely and nothing much has been said about it since. He's obviously had my password though since then and I dont know if he has gone into my messages again. I have a feeling that he may have after I couldnt get Facebook messenger working on my phone after an update so he fixed it for me and would have seen that I was trying to read a message from Callum. Not that there was anything incriminating. All we really talk about is music...

Anyway - thats about it. I just needed to vent a little bit.