Andrew emailed me. At first he emailed to let me know that he has a new girlfriend and would be putting it on facebook, he also told me that Nats and Almaroe are expecting a baby. I replied saying that it was really exciting about Nats and Al, that I was happy that he was happy and well done cos she's really hot. Then I got this:
Hey bee
Sorry to contact you again (unless you are cool with it very occasionally) lol
Its just that I guess I am struggling a bit with myself, haha. Im being a bit insecure and having some self confidence issues (Me, I know, right?) And you probably know me better than anyone lets be honest. I guess after you and then the Lauren thing, my emotions were pretty screwed up. And thanks to her, my trust in people disappeared. Also, after giving up everything over there (literally) and coming back home, which I dont regret as I am happy....but I have found myself now at 32, working in a shit job getting paid so much less than I used to and struggling to find a cool job plus living in the dining room of my families house. And then there is Melissa....she is only 23 turning 24 in December and as you said is super hot (sorry) and gets heaps of attention from other guys etc. She has not given me any reason not to trust her, its quite the opposite actually. Shes completely transparent about everything and we have a very good relationship. So I dunno why I am actually getting like this lol.
I just feel like I am old, not very successful and she could be given so much more (I guess thats materialistic cos I treat her amazingly).....and there are so many rich douche bags that give her attention even though she doesnt respond. Dunno, maybe I feel that shes out of my league or Im not hot enough or she could do better.....Am I being a kook? Do we look good together? lol
If its weird to talk about just say but I....I mean we feel for each other like we have never felt, quite mad actually cos it was like that as soon as we met. I suppose its how you and Paul are......you just fit, click, whatever you wanna call it. I am really really happy for you two and so glad that you are happy and being treated like you deserve to be treated (sorry I fell short in that department) But I think things happen for a reason, so I am glad we were part of each others lives but I am also glad that we have both found 'the right one'
There are no games between us and we are just ourselves which is so rad. I can tell she hasnt ever felt this way before and she says stuff like 'she cant wait to come home to me everyday' and 'im her one person and cant believe shes found me' or that she loves me so much and she wants to be with me forever etc.
So its all good, but I am just scared of getting hurt again and its almost too good to be true and as if I am waiting for something to fuck up :( We bring out the best in each other and it makes me the sweet and kind thoughtful person you have seen in me which is cool.
Sorry if this was all overshare, just needed someone to talk to and an honest opinion.
I really hope everything your side is good and Paul is and continues to treat you like a princess! I will be pished orf otherwise! :)
Thanks for listening and feel free to reply as blunt as you like you hear?! haha :)
Andrew
This is them, if you're curious, cos I would be lol
I haven't replied yet. I don't really know what I'm supposed to say to that. There's quite a lot about it that makes me angry. That he tells me that what happened with Lauren means that he can't trust people... how does he think it affected me that he cheated on me and lied about it over the course of two years?! And I think that it's kind of rude to tell me that they've 'never felt this way'. We were married for 7 years, I just think that it's rude. Also the whole 'one person' thing I think is so naive. And now he's being all nice and supportive about Paul and I when he was a massive dick about us when he was apparently 'missing me'
I will update properly soon, I just wanted to have a mini rant.
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