Wintersong in General

The days are as short as they are going to get. It is inky black outside by 430pm. If out and about you might see a seam of blue on the western horizon.

I have a new stove. That is kinda cool. Glass top for the first time in 7 years.

The oven actually gets to temp. That will make the cooking effort over the next few days a bit easier.

I’m still on the hook for Christmas eve Lasagna, and Garlic bread.

I’m restless. I ponder on all of the mistakes of my life, but don’t really dwell. For every single insult I applied to another they applied at least one back on me. So it is a wash.

I am still on hold for my surgery. It leaves me in some kind of stasis. Suspended animation. I can’t do anything. I can’t plan, I can’t burn through what is left of my GI bill. I can’t travel. I can’t pick up anything heavier that a gallon of milk. I am essentially emasculated and neutralized.

My surgeon is dragging his feet. How many gallons of blood do I give before he schedules.

This is so frustrating.

I don’t look forward to surgery. But Jesus Christ, shit or get off the pot.

It might just be the time of the year. And I should be thankful for the due diligence.

And you know what sucks? This fucking holiday sitting smack dab in the middle of everything.

I am scheduled for labs again on the 7th. If I get to the end of January with no schedule I might just let my Cardiologist schedule with the VA in Massachusetts.

I just want to flip the switch to “on” again.

Last updated December 23, 2018