Monday Blues in Public

After my anger at Liam yesterday I woke up feeling…stunted? fragile? exhausted?

I found out that my snoring kept Liam up all night and then I felt guilty and angry (we have a twin bed in the office that I don’t mind sleeping in). I have a C-Pap machine but refuse to use it because Liam also snores and it’s not comfortable. When he gets his machine we can use them together. I know 100% how petty that sounds.

Liam left for work pretty early and as I was getting comfy with my book and my coffee I realized that the area around his side of the couch was a disaster zone. I wanted, so badly, to ignore it but I couldn’t. This led to me straightening the whole living room (which I do daily) and then I was in some pain so I just sat down on the couch. I didn’t move for 2 hours then I moved to the bed and took an hour nap. Sometimes I forget that I’m technically still in the healing period from a major surgery.

I did too much today, including cleaning the kitchen, gathering the trash, sorting and washing and folding 4 loads of laundry, cooking dinner, and cleaning up from dinner. My lower abdomen is on fire and I’m exhausted. Everyone says that you find yourself tired more easily after a total hysterectomy and I didn’t believe them but I am, I’m so tired after doing simple things. And the pain, it’s not excruciating but once it’s here it doesn’t go away quickly.

Tomorrow we need to go to the CarMax dealership to give them the loan check that came and the down payment, for Liam’s new to him car. After that I think I am going to find a blood drive and then my plan is to binge read. I have three library books due on Wednesday and I haven’t started them. I spent the last 30 hours catching up with people on this site and I had to read through at least the last year in order to understand their current entries.

I feel good to be back here and writing. I’m planning on starting a new daily devotional on January 1 and I’m definitely going to write down anything that I learn from it. Also, it’s a nice place to vent without putting strain on my marriage, especially with these menopausal symptoms.

Last updated December 10, 2018