My living room in The Untimely Death of Vilos Cohaagen

I'm sat at my coffee table in my living room, looking around for what seems to be the first time in my life, and I've noticed something odd.

We have a fuck-sight too many sofas.

Let's see. There's the L-shaped sofa in the corner, by the radiator. Seats four, maybe five or six at a pinch. Parallel to that is the one I am sat in, in the middle of the room. Seats three, perhaps four. Then, by the window we have two single-sofas. behind the sofa I'm sat on is a small dining table with two wooden chairs.

Here's the thing - we're pretty much recluses, and we fucking hate people (as you're no doubt starting to realise), so we hardly ever entertain guests - and when we do, it's usually one or two people at a time. There are NEVER more than four people in this room at any given moment.

So what the fuck are we doing with all these bloody chairs?

Things I think about in between trolling.