february 11 in twenty-seven

  • Feb. 11, 2014, 12:24 p.m.
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  • Public

I still find myself absent-mindedly typing in the OD URL on my phone, then only to remember a split second after hitting enter that it will get me nowhere.

I woke up early this morning. I'm supposed to be at work at 7:30 but lately I've been getting in between eight and 8:30 because I'm lacking the motivation to get moving in the morning. I think part of it is seasonal depression, but another part is that my job is taking a toll on me for the moment. I want a change of scenery but this type of job is hard to come by in this area and I can't change cities because of the roommate situation. More because of the roommate's kid situation. Also, I don't want to move anyhow. I can be patient and wait for the right opportunity. Meanwhile, my attitude is suffering.

I also always thought of myself as someone who could stick it out at a company for an entire career. I'm not unhappy there yet, or not miserable anyway, and I don't want to find myself at that point with no options. So I need some type of change.

The roommate's sister and her family might be in town this weekend. They'll want to come over. I'm fine with them being here but I need to figure out a backup plan for Valentine's Day evening. I don't mind her, but she's intense and she probably doesn't particularly love me. It is always strategic to form a backup plan. Especially on Valentine's Day.

She also spends a lot of thought trying to figure out what's "going on" in this situation, because no one can accept the fact that we are simply roommates.

Additionally, her husband is fixated on my political views. I don't like to talk politics because I find that it doesn't really matter when it comes to how I treat a person, but for a lot of people it does affect how they might treat me. Some people have their minds made up about a person once they can attach a political mindset, and to me that's just one more reason for people to not try to get to know me. The second time I met him the subject came up and I felt a little defensive for the rest of the visit.

I'm stalling. I need to get up and get ready for work. Tuesdays can be very long. I'm supposed to study in the afternoons and the roommate has class after work until nine so it makes for a very dull day.


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