My pride is lost where my love is found in Love & War

You made me lose my mind.
Nobody has ever done that to me before, so congratulations.
I actually went batshit crazy and stayed up one night drinking and texting you nonstop; it seemed like something right out of a romcom, except it wasn’t so funny while it was happening in real life. I’m impressed you read all those messages though, even if you didn’t respond.
Did you only read them to make sure I wasn’t throwing your stuff over the balcony?
But why did you leave your stuff here in the first place and why won’t you give me back my apartment key?

I saw you for the first time after 2 weeks on Sunday. We had dinner, and you continued to tell me why I should move on. You said you didn’t want to string me along. You said you’re going through a mid-life crisis which is why you’ve been so depressed and restless lately, and you need to figure out what you want.
I hear what you’re saying, but then it doesn’t align with what you’re doing, and actions speak louder than words.
The way your whole face breaks out into a huge smile whenever you see me gives it all away. The way you linger in my apartment for an extra hour when you say you’re “just picking up a few things” tells a different story. The way you tell me all your hopes and fears for your future makes me think something else. The way you lectured me about my new tattoo and told me that you were “disappointed” shows me that you still care.

Am I being delusional?
When we broke up, you said you weren’t ready to let me go, and that you didn’t know what you wanted, and then you somehow proceeded to force yourself to stop loving me because of your misguided sense of duty.

I told you that we’re going to end up together, so you’d better start accepting it.
You asked me how I knew that.
I don’t know how I know, but I know how I feel. I know how we felt about each other a few months ago, and that kind of connection doesn’t happen every day.
You asked me “what if it takes years?”
I said I don’t care how long it takes.

I told you you’re my last one, and I meant it, even if you didn’t. I’ll stick around for now and chip away at these sky high walls you’ve built around your heart until I truly believe that you don’t feel anything for me anymore. I know you’ve been through a lot of pain and heartache, but pushing away real love isn’t going to help. I noticed your dating pattern: you date girls for a few months until the honeymoon phase ends and real life starts to sink in. Then you find a reason that you can’t be together, and you abandon ship because your self esteem hangs so low that it gets caught in all the coral at the bottom of the sea. None of your relationships can ever move forward until you lessen your burden and bring up your self esteem, love, so I’ll help you rebuild yourself for now as long as you let me, because I can’t leave you hurting like this. It’s just not in me to leave someone in their time of need, and because I love you this much, I’ll do everything I can for you. This is how I can live with myself later on if we don’t work out. I’ll know I did everything in my power to make us happy, and even if in the end you’re the only happy one, that’ll be enough for me.

I’ll break my heart into pieces and then use those pieces to fix yours. That’s who I am.