Tired of Pretending in Thinking Out Loud

Pretending to be ok all the time is exhausting. I feel nothing. No happiness, no sadness…my emotions are non-existent. I’m stuck in this bubble. I go through the motions everyday, making jokes to make others laugh, smiling. Making it look good when I really just wanna be alone so I can stop faking it. I don’t know why it’s like this. Why can’t I just be happy?