I would really love to say my parents are willing/ready/able to move into an assisted living facility, but they are not. They will NOT even consider it. So the next best thing is that their Medicare supplementary plan, Humana, is going to send out a case manager (nurse/social worker) to assess their situation. I'm fairly confident the outcome will be that a daily home health aid or personal care attendant will be assigned. Not sure what that will cost them.
Currently my folks do have a cleaning person coming in every other week, which of course helps. And lots of the ladies at their church have been bringing them meals, which is helpful.
A couple weeks ago, right before my mom ended the 10 radiation treatments and developed the bloody diarrhea (colitis), I arranged for my friend's Sue's hospital bed to be moved to my parent's. Sue had purchased one with the intent of moving her mom here from Texas last summer, but then her mom passed a couple weeks before we were scheduled to go get her.
So the hospital bed is on the lower level at my folks'. Yes, they have a two-level house, and the bedroom and den are upstairs. My mom is NOT supposed to be DOING the steps. Yet this morning when I talked to my dad, guess what? She got up this morning and felt like going upstairs to get into bed with Dad. And she did.
The minute she falls and breaks something we know it's over. She has been living with breast cancer that metastasized to the bones for nearly 3 years now, she is bound to break something if she lives long enough. The steps are dreaded right now. Yet, she refuses to comply with some instructions - she is very, very stubborn. I saw a bit of this when she was hospitalized last week and had delirium each night due to the dehydration and electrolyte imbalance.
Nothing I can do about it anymore. Not A Thing. I have my own health crisis to deal with, and am so very thankful my oldest daughter Megan could afford to fly out here for the week. It helped my folks and it's been a huge help to me. I will cry after dropping her at the airport tomorrow. What I have to look forward to, however, is that she will be coming back to AZ end of March to stay a few weeks because she and her husband are in his sister's wedding here.
Have I said how happy I am that Megan married Adam, who is from Tempe? That even though she met him in NYC almost 3 years ago, I was already living here and so was his family, and voila!!? It was one of those beautifully synchronistic events in life that just kind of make you feel whole, and that yes indeed, the universe does align at times. I know I've written about it, but it's been a while. Add to the synchronicity the fact that Adam's mother was born and raised in MN just like me. Lots in common.
Also a good thing is that my brother is finally flying down on Tues. So I will have to pick him up at the airport and drive him out to my folks'. He is still recovering from a snowmobile accident (he was thrown into a tree and broke 5 ribs, also lacerated his liver). I was totally po'd about that, due to the fact that he SHOULD have already been down here but having that happen delayed his coming even more. He has wanted to be available for his son, who has chemical dependency issues, but sometimes the tough love approach is best, in my humble opinion, and I don't dare say anything to my brother about it.
Yup. If you say something to my brother, or to my dad, that totally disagrees with their line of thinking, they simply GO AWAY and don't talk to you. Sometimes there's a confrontation first, but I've gotten better about avoiding those over the years. Certainly didn't help me choose healthy relationships, but I know now.....
Better late than never, I suppose.
Megan and I are sitting here watching the Olympics. I'm feeling a bit nauseous again but putting off my next dose of Promethazine because it makes me so drowsy. This is proof today that I am not able to return to work tomorrow. Full proof. I cannot work while needing to be on nausea medication, which causes drowsiness and fogginess. The chemo meds are still causing some fogginess too, no doubt. So I will call Cigna tomorrow to report that I am not return to work, and I will call both my PCP and oncologist to discuss. My oncologist told me last week he would "sign whatever I need him to sign." He also encouraged me to talk to my medical director, whom I will at least email, because I am close to my doctors but they do need to know that I am not yet up to par to go back to work. I feel it would be more of a distraction for them and worse, not aid in my recovery at this point.
Oh, and have I written about how my clinic - the clinic I've been managing for over 3 years, has virtually imploded in my absence? That's right. My boss finally had to get more involved, finally had to put another manager in my office (long story, which I might explain some other entry), and set up meetings with HR, etc. Both the front and back supervisor, who report to me, were calling/texting me almost weekly, but now since the other manager has been plugged in to play, it looks like they may have been told to NOT CONTACT ME to keep me in any "loop," because I'm on short term disability and should NOT be working, i.e., participating in any decisions about what's going on there.
Ok, fine. I did send an email in response to something that came up a week or so ago, and never got a response from ANYONE. In my email I indicated I was starting to "re-engage," which was probably a mistake, but I was. It was before my second treatment, at the end of the week in between when I was starting to feel more normal. So if I feel normal for a few days, is it work going back to work and getting sick with something else? Nope. And that's what we do there - see sick patients all day long, week in and week out. Forget it.
After these first four treatments, of which I've completed 2, I switch to two other drugs that are given WEEKLY for 3 months. That oughta be interesting. Maybe I'll be ready to go back to work part time then, but I'm not going to push myself. My health is my priority, not that job.
I'll collect 60% my base pay as long as they'll pay me short term or switch me to long term. Not sure what the company policy is on that, but will make calls. Also have to find out how to lessen the payroll deduction they've set up because how do they think I can pay my bills on 60% salary while also deducting $500 from each check to pay my out of pocket medical expenses? I now owe them almost $5K. Sorry, dear employer, you are going to have to accept less than $500 a check from me. Who made that decision without contacting/alerting me ought to be slapped. You can better believe I'm going to be making calls on this tomorrow as well.
Ok, I'm starting to get riled again. Better settle down and sip my tea. Relax. Sue is coming over soon and we, along with Megan, are going to take a walk. It's beautiful today - 70 and sunny. The fresh air will do me good. So will the exercise. It's so hard to NOT do my mountain hikes each weekend. I so miss it.....
Then we'll make the rigatoni dinner my neighbor brought over last night, with homemade sauce her husband made. Yum. She included a bag of salad, parmesan cheese, bread and cake truffles. So sweet.
Now, sip tea and rest.
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