A DISTASTER AND A PUT DOWN in LIFE OF A D.O.M. WIDOWER LIVING ON THE NJ SHORE

 Saturday night Doris were meeting my S.I.L. and her husband Joe for dinner a very nice Restaurant about 25 miles South of us. I picked Doris up ay 6:45 PM.
  Then disaster stepped in. We had not only driven a mile when we drove in to a dead stop accident scene illuminated by flashing Red and Blue lights and traffic at a halt in both directions. Along with others I made a quick U turn  and sped away into land of unknown. I called Bev and Joe at the restaurant and due to their natures they were already there. Joe also offered some directions as he was quite familiar with the area.
  With a combination of luck and OnStar we made it to the place with 5 minutes to spare.That is when shoe number 2 dropped. The place, Scarborough Fair, had dropped the ball was seriously over booked. It was forty five minutes until we were seated.
 The rebound was total. The food was outstanding and possibly out of Restaurant guilt we had fantastic service. Dessert was even on the house.
 I was out on the porch waiting to see my car. There were two women highly intoxicated and one grabbed the pole upright for the canopy and wanted to show how she could Pole Dance. She almost fell on her butt and was laughing hysterically. she told people for 4 towns around that she once told her husband that she ran two private Clubs. He asked what kind and she answered that she couldn't tell him as they were Private. Again the laughter.
When my car came up the two women started raving drunkenly and the blonde grabbed my arm and asked if I needed a passenger. Just then Doris strode down to the car and peeled her hand off my arm and said " you couldn't fill that seat Lady". The blonde looked at her and then at me and said " I knew you were top of the line" and then addressed Doris, " Are you his wife, Daughter or Girlfriend?"
 Doris silenced the women with her answer " None of the above Lady. I am his Mistress and you couldn't fill that seat either."

 I was laughing so hard I could almost not drive out the driveway. It was less than a mile later that Bev called and almost couldn't speak for laughing. Good show Doris , was the message.