How does one feel? in Misunderstood guy

I’m honestly not sure if anyone will ever actually read this, I really don’t even know how many people use this website, I simply Googled private journaling websites, so here I am journaling about how I feel and some of the thoughts that go through my head every day to people I don’t even know. I won’t tell too many detailed things about me that would allow anyone to actually figure out who I am there for I will not give my age or where I live or any of that. I guess I just kind of wanted to have a place to document my feelings so that maybe I can attempt to work through what I feel rather than holding it inside and allowing it to continue to destroy me like it has the last seven to eight years. I struggle everyday with the way I feel, I struggle to work through my feelings and work threw the thoughts that go threw my head. Its even hard waking up and getting out of bed every day, I am weak I honestly have no understanding of how to get out of the situation that I’m in.