Time seems to be moving slower for the last couple of days. Hour long episodes seem to take far longer, like they're dragging on minute by minute and making me ache with some unknown longing. I want to move, but my head feels detached from my body, and becoming mobile seems far more difficult than it should be.
I'm interested in so much, there is so much history to be observed and science to be uncovered, yet the ability to motivate myself eludes me. I'm antsy with unknowing, and now that I have become acquainted with the idea that time may no longer be on my side, it seems to be at a virtual standstill.
It's strange how that works. How fear motivates us to new heights, or how medicine makes us feel apart from our bodies. It's as if my soul (should I have one at all) is straining to make an escape. I'm reminded of how grateful I am to live in this day and age of reason and acceptance, and not in the many eras of the past where one misstep would mean death - often by tortuous means. A sideways glance could land you in the clutches of a torturer. One false word could send an innocent victim to the stake. It seems that the world has been upside down for so long, that it takes mankind many centuries to wrap their minds around the continental shift, and we're only now coming to grips with it.
It's a strange time for me. Things are moving slowly but surely to an unknown conclusion, and I'm left wondering what's next for me - or what my fate may be. I want to remember these moments. This wonder. This curiosity. I want to carve my name into the pages of history in some small way, not easily forgotten by those that I gave my love to. It's an interesting head space, and one that will remain a curiosity for as long that it remains.
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