First try. in My life

Well i love life, but i hate myself 😀 almost 27 years old never felt love, bad luck all the time something good happens and next day boom life kicks me right in the head, feeling depression kicking in again. Got rejected again. Stupid person I am, was raised to be friendly and pay atention to what people say, but F*** nobody cares about that any more. All the time I hear “I am a friendly person” but thats it. What am I doeing wrong ? 😀😀. Ran away from my home to another country, and still the same shit just different plate 😀 just want to find the only person for me who would not judge every time. Just want to talk with somebody. I just cant be alone my mind must be ocupied all the time just not to think. (Comments are great even the ones telling me to fuck off, its ok I already heard that, think of something new 🙂 ) and yes English is not my first language but if somebody understood what i wrote for me it is enough. And its my first time of writing something like this so judge or dont do what you want, just wanted to write my stupid thoughts out.